Nothing warms's collective, taco-clogged heart quite like bringing first-hand information to our loyal public. Using an extensive array of contacts in the diplomatic and business community, we like to consider ourselves at the forefront of the war on terror.

A close relative of one of the authors is a Circuit Court judge in Will County, just south of Chicago. Being an upstanding person, the Judge was asked about a year ago to sit on the County's draft board. You may recall that the sudden interest in reviving the nation's dormant draft boards at the start of the Iraqi Clusterfuck caused some alarm in the media and was a central issue for Ralph Nader's campaign. Having thoroughly mixed feelings about the conflict, the Judge declined to participate. This week, however, Department of Defense investigators called him to follow up on his interview with a DOD official at a Highland Park hotel in June.

There's only one problem: there was no interview.

Yes, you see, the DOD agent responsible for identifying and interviewing potential draft board candidates had a hard time getting many volunteers. The Judge told them "Thanks, but no thanks." So the plucky civil servant did what any civil servant would be apt to do: he made a bunch of stuff up. Irrespective of the fact that the judge never met with or spoke to this individual, the man turned in a completed interview report including specific answers to numerous questions regarding the war and the draft. When the DOD called for a follow-up interview this week and learned this information, they investigated and determined that the employee in question had falsified the majority of his interviews.

So, to summarize: the Department of Defense couldn't get people to fill out draft boards so they simply made up a bunch of interviews to, in essence, volunteer people without their knowledge. It's a small step up from opening the phone book and picking names at random, but we can safely assume that is the next step.


Comments are closed.