James Dobson officially needs a hobby. Failing that, he needs to get it over with and come out of the damn closet already. By now you've all seen his protest that SpongeBob SquarePants – a cartoon about a sponge who lives in a pineapple – is pushing a gay agenda. Under the code name of "tolerance" (sub-irony: "christians" opposed to tolerance. Discuss.)
James, you are a flaming fucking homo. There is no other possible explanation for you and your existence. It is utterly impossible for someone who is not gay to be so completely obsessed with men having anal sex. You think and talk about it 24 hours a day. You accuse the media of pushing a gay agenda yet you are the one who is trying to get on TV every 30 seconds to bring up the subject of homosexuality.
Did it ever occur to you that attempting to indoctrinate people with the idea that everything is secretly pushing homosexuality is FAR MORE LIKELY to fuck kids up that just LETTING THEM WATCH THE FUCKING CARTOON and SHUTTING YOUR GREEDY FUCKING MOUTH?
No? I didn't think so.
Dobson: Father, Preacher, Cum Dumpster
What a cocksucker this man is. "GAYS ARE BRAINWASHING YOUR KIDS! SEND MORE CHECKS!" Fuck you, James. Fuck you and your stash of panties and the reams of gay porn in your attic. Fuck the little drama that goes on in your head every night as the angel on your shoulder tells you to say another rosary but EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING desperately wants to be in an abandoned warehouse somewhere with a death-grip on your ankles while a whole lacrosse team plays target practice with your large intestine until your asshole looks like a pound of ground beef.
Everyone can see what you are, and I know it's mighty dark in that closet. Come on out. It's OK. Better to come out now than end up in the 9th ring of hell – Hypocritical Cocksucker Hell. Not only is it extremely hot, but Hoover and Thurmond both snore.