EBAY: THE ALBANIA OF THE U.S. ECONOMY

One of my fondest wishes, being a devotee of history with an entrepreneurial spirit, is to have lived in a time of expansion and discovery. Sadly, the majority of the world (and the entirety of the United States) has been settled and industrialized. To have lived in a time during which Westward Expansion was a blank canvas for money-making schemes legitimate and otherwise would be a ticket to personal fulfillment for me.

Lacking that, I turn to eBay.

eBay is the wild west of capitalism for the modern era. eBay is the place where pretty much anything goes, and that which does not go (e.g., selling organs) has been explicitly forbidden because someone tried it. eBay was the place where Amadou Diallo's landlord auctioned off the bloody apartment door in front of which the NYPD shot him 41 times. eBay allows the insane and infirm to sell ghosts in jars and beatific sandwiches. eBay is the place where a young man sold ecstacy for 8 months under the listing "fun stuff for raves."

Anyone who knows me is aware that I have always been captivated by this lawless African banana republic of e-commerce. Accordingly, I have had multiple productive periods of profitable ideas that involved the resale of things I may or may not have had the legal right to resell. The specifics are unimportant; I leave the resolution of moral ambiguity to the Lord and copyright attorneys.

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Photo courtesy of shykiss.com

Ginandtacos.com has decided to use its greatest assets – drunken violence and raw sexuality – to enter a new phase of profitability. Tapping into the thriving "masturbating pervert" market, Erik Martin has taken to selling a set of sexy pictures of an anonymous individual we'll call "Mike." For the uninitiated, there is a booming market on eBay of creepy, busted-out girls selling pictures (as well as used panties, fake love letters, etc) to creepy, busted-out fat guys who want to pretend that they have a girlfriend. Yes, believe it or not, people do this. And people spend a lot of money in the process. This offers them a useful alternative.

In addition, ginandtacos.com is proud to expand the categories of personal services available via eBay by offering (for a reasonable opening bid) a thorough, professional ass-beating to willing bidders. For those who seek self-improvement through merciless pummeling, ginandtacos.com will be the website that leads them to enlightenment.

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3 Responses to “EBAY: THE ALBANIA OF THE U.S. ECONOMY”

  1. Dave Says:

    Does the ass-kicking ship internationally? I do recall being told that you were going to kick my ass, Ed, but you reneged on the deal.

    I can pay in cheap British cider, if it helps.

  2. Ambrosini Says:

    For some reason I believe the pictures were taken saturday night after a lot of drinking. I can only conclude that you guys did manage to make it back to your apartment from murphys. Mike, let me know the next time you are in town, I will surely drink more gin with you.

    Tim

  3. erik Says:

    The pictures were in fact taken Sunday while completely sober as a non-irish judge.

    And yes, I thank you for your concern. No, we were not able to get a taxi, but yes a bus stopped in front of us.

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