Day: February 17, 2005

I feel it is fair to share with our readers the email which I sent to "Jeff Gannon" and "Talon News" (two entities which must forever hereinafter be written only in quotes to denote the dubious nature of even the most basic circumstances of their existence):

"Jeff",

Your complete lack of journalistic credentials or ability to use the english language often left me wondering how you secured a job working the White House. I guess that getting paid to metaphorically suck Bush's cock wasn't much of a departure from your previous line of work, was it?

You may be a fake reporter from a fake news agency, but the important thing is that you were (wait…ARE) an authentic hooker. No one can take that experience away from you. Don't let the liberal media tell you that experience wasn't valid.
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Every Motel 6 you met your clients at, every hairy 50 year-old cornhole you "attacked" with your "8 inch weapon", every morning you woke up leaking unidentifiable fluids like a showerhead……
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that was all real, "Jeff." Own it.

Good luck auctioning your dick to the highest bidder for a living.
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Maybe when your butthole is all stretched out and no one will pay for your services anymore, you can go back to reporting. There are tons of opportunities in Hollywood for someone with your "skills".
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In closing, fuck you.

Sincerely,
Ed

(WARNING: most links in this story contain nude and pornographic photos of the subject….who happens to be a White House correspondent)

In case you've yet to pick up on this story (which has trickled into the Washington Post, Salon.com, and other "major" media outlets), the White House's favorite gay-bashing, softball-lobbing shill has an interesting life story. Actually, he has several.

It appears that Jeff Gannon, the fake reporter from a fake news agency who was mysteriously granted a full White House press access pass by the Bush administration even though he had no experience as a reporter, is actually James Dale Guckert, a former Marine. Oh, and a former $200 per hour gay prostitute.

Proud member of the United States Male Corps

A lot of eyebrows were raised when the Bush people flung their doors open so widely in terms of access and congeniality for a guy who isn't even a reporter and works for an imaginary, nonexistent "news agency" called Talon News. It became very quickly apparent that the jar-headed "Gannon" was nothing more than a semi-literate shill whose purpose was to fire off unedited White House dispatches to the internet's angry little network of Ann Coulter wannabes.

At a recent press conference, he asked the President how he was dealing with Senate Democrats given that they are "so far removed from reality" and bashed Kerry as America's "first queer President."

Unfortunately, some enterprising bloggers found out that Mr. Gannon is actually a man with the incomprehensibly ugly name J.D. Guckert. He changed his identity because Mr.

Guckert had a $20,000 civil judgment against him that he didn't feel like paying. Oh, and he was a gay hooker.

Yes, Jeff Gannon the White House "reporter" happens to be the same Jeff who advertises himself as ""AGGRESIVE, VERBAL, DOMINANT TOP…I DON'T LEAVE MARKS, ONLY IMPRESSIONS" with an "8 inch uncut weapon" on such reputable gay escort sites as meetlocalmen.com, workingboys.net, and StudFinder. Despite the initial claim that these were not the same person, the fully nude pictures of "Jeff" reveal that he has the exact same birthmarks, facial features, jewelry, skin folds, and misshapen right ear as Jeff Gannon. Quick, someone make up a better excuse.

Unfathomable hypocrisy is nothing new from extreme right-wing types.

Anyone that far to the right is hiding something, period. But the appalling part about this is that bringing this idiot into the White House to parrot the administration was a conscious decision. There is no conceivable way that the Secret Service/CIA/FBI/Whoever could have done a cursory background check on this person (and we sorta hope that a background check is part of getting full press access to the White House) and not realized that he was operating a fake identity and was all over the internet offering his butthole to the highest bidder. This isn't one isolated Friendster page or something.

This guy had nude pictures on dozens of sexually-explicit websites for "dating" services.

Someone OK'd this. Someone sat down and reviewed a background check and personal file that said "This guy is a gay hooker operating a fake identity" and thought "SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!

SIGN HIM UP!"

The administration's desire to surround themselves with fawning regurgitators is no different than that of any other politician. It's just amazing and appalling that they could be so lazy (or pumped up with hubris) that they would pick someone who could so easily be exposed as a fraud and hypocrite. There are plenty of slobbering lapdog right-wing journalists they could have picked who are not gay hookers. It almost feels like this was some sort of bet among the White House staff…."Hey Wolfowitz, I bet you $50 we can get away with this."