ONCE AGAIN, THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH.

(WARNING: most links in this story contain nude and pornographic photos of the subject….who happens to be a White House correspondent)

In case you've yet to pick up on this story (which has trickled into the Washington Post, Salon.com, and other "major" media outlets), the White House's favorite gay-bashing, softball-lobbing shill has an interesting life story. Actually, he has several.

It appears that Jeff Gannon, the fake reporter from a fake news agency who was mysteriously granted a full White House press access pass by the Bush administration even though he had no experience as a reporter, is actually James Dale Guckert, a former Marine. Oh, and a former $200 per hour gay prostitute.

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Proud member of the United States Male Corps

A lot of eyebrows were raised when the Bush people flung their doors open so widely in terms of access and congeniality for a guy who isn't even a reporter and works for an imaginary, nonexistent "news agency" called Talon News. It became very quickly apparent that the jar-headed "Gannon" was nothing more than a semi-literate shill whose purpose was to fire off unedited White House dispatches to the internet's angry little network of Ann Coulter wannabes. At a recent press conference, he asked the President how he was dealing with Senate Democrats given that they are "so far removed from reality" and bashed Kerry as America's "first queer President."

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Unfortunately, some enterprising bloggers found out that Mr. Gannon is actually a man with the incomprehensibly ugly name J.D. Guckert. He changed his identity because Mr. Guckert had a $20,000 civil judgment against him that he didn't feel like paying. Oh, and he was a gay hooker.

Yes, Jeff Gannon the White House "reporter" happens to be the same Jeff who advertises himself as ""AGGRESIVE, VERBAL, DOMINANT TOP…I DON'T LEAVE MARKS, ONLY IMPRESSIONS" with an "8 inch uncut weapon" on such reputable gay escort sites as meetlocalmen.com, workingboys.net, and StudFinder. Despite the initial claim that these were not the same person, the fully nude pictures of "Jeff" reveal that he has the exact same birthmarks, facial features, jewelry, skin folds, and misshapen right ear as Jeff Gannon. Quick, someone make up a better excuse.

Unfathomable hypocrisy is nothing new from extreme right-wing types. Anyone that far to the right is hiding something, period. But the appalling part about this is that bringing this idiot into the White House to parrot the administration was a conscious decision. There is no conceivable way that the Secret Service/CIA/FBI/Whoever could have done a cursory background check on this person (and we sorta hope that a background check is part of getting full press access to the White House) and not realized that he was operating a fake identity and was all over the internet offering his butthole to the highest bidder. This isn't one isolated Friendster page or something. This guy had nude pictures on dozens of sexually-explicit websites for "dating" services.

Someone OK'd this. Someone sat down and reviewed a background check and personal file that said "This guy is a gay hooker operating a fake identity" and thought "SOUNDS GOOD TO ME! SIGN HIM UP!"

The administration's desire to surround themselves with fawning regurgitators is no different than that of any other politician. It's just amazing and appalling that they could be so lazy (or pumped up with hubris) that they would pick someone who could so easily be exposed as a fraud and hypocrite. There are plenty of slobbering lapdog right-wing journalists they could have picked who are not gay hookers. It almost feels like this was some sort of bet among the White House staff…."Hey Wolfowitz, I bet you $50 we can get away with this."

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13 Responses to “ONCE AGAIN, THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH.”

  1. J. Dryden Says:

    Or perhaps they were simply thinking, "Hey, if we want a guy who's going to suck The President's cock in front of the nation, we'd damn well better go to a professional."

  2. mike Says:

    perhaps, if he wrote statements like "I'll stay in until I can get the job done" to better reflect the administration's Iraq Policy, and not their Gay Escort Policy.

  3. Liz Says:

    http://www.jeffgannon.com/

  4. jeff Says:

    Is the issue here that he is a) operating under a fake name, b) a prostitute or c) a gay prostitute?

    I'd say that C is most embarrasing for the administration, even though A should be, i.e. 'I'm a terrorist, but I'm willing to parrot the president for 2 months, and THEN I'm going to kill him.'

    My point is, let's not make this an attack on gay people, even if the actions of this certain gay person were extremely reprehensible.

  5. Ed Says:

    The issue here is that he's a gay hooker who enthusiastically trumpets the President's gay-bashing agenda. Whatever sort of self-loathing issues this represents are not my problem (that's between him and his therapist). To me, this is nothing but another example of the hypocrisy inherent in all of these right-wing windbags.

    I have absolutely no problem with gay hookers. I have a problem with gay hookers who gay-bash for a living and hope to god that no one finds out their "secret" past.

  6. J. Dryden Says:

    There's also the "How Much Blatant Hand-Jobbing Of The President Can They Get Away With" factor.

    As Ed rightly pointed out two weeks ago, Hannity's knee-padded 'interview' of Bush was so over the top in its whiffle-ball pandering that even voices on the right were embarassed. But now it seems that Bush's Press Crew, learning nothing from this blunder, willingly brought in a guy who was either a complete unknown–which doesn't speak well for the Secret Service, and frankly I'm inclined to view those guys with a certain degree of respect, given that since Grant created them, they've only lost two protectees in a country of well-armed ideologues–or who they knew to be a man whose personal life represents everything they oppose, and they didn't care because they knew he'd ask a ridiculously biased question that their chimp could answer without making an ass of himself. The fact that he's gay and a hooker is, of course, not the point. The fact that he's a gay hooker working for people who not-so-secretly think that Matthew Shepherd "got what was coming to him" is.

    As I see it, there are two ways to read this, one positive, one negative: A. The Karl Rove propaganda machine that has been running with the efficiency of a perpetual-motion device is finally corroded with complacency and beginning to break down, or B.–and this is the one I ruefully believe–these folks have realized that there is no bottom–that they can't stoop so low that their partisans and an indifferent press-corps won't excuse/ignore it.

  7. Ed Says:

    The secret service has had three president iced on its watch: James A. Garfield (shot in the back by a religious lunatic whose defense in court was to sing "I am going to the Lordy"), William McKinley (shot in the front, by an illiterate anarchist) and of course John "Back, and to the left" Kennedy.

    It's also only by complete luck (Ford) and the grace of god (Reagan, FDR) that three more Presidents didn't end up in a box. Overall I'd say they do a fairly shitty job, mathematically.

  8. J. Dryden Says:

    My historical bad–I forgot that Garfield came AFTER Grant. Though to be fair, FDR was only President-Elect. (Which is bullshit hair-splitting, but then, as an academic, I'm required to pull such rhetorical inanity.) Though it's not simply through God's grace that certain presidents walk away–the staggering incompetence of folks like Zangara and Fromme (truly the most hilarious of failed assassins–"The gun didn't go off! Can you believe it?!") does play a factor. Which, come to think of it, weakens my stance defending the Service.

    Still, when one considers the multiple, MULTIPLE opportunities would-be killers have had at our Chief Executives, I'm still not sure about your mathematics–although maybe it's just that they've started to get better at it recently–hasn't been a genuine attempt in almost 25 years! (And, for the sake of Governmental Monitors surfing for 'chatter,' no, that was not an endorsement for someone to step into the batter's box. Like his father, Bush has ensured that I will wish him the best of health when I consider the possibility of an administration under his Veep.)

  9. K Says:

    er…

    …"content."

    Thank you.

  10. K Says:

    That was odd. Here's what I was trying to say:

    Bored while helping out at a south side high school this afternoon, I attempted to access GinandTacos, only to be denied by the school server–citing "inappropriate content." I know the three of you must get this a lot, but I imagine you'd never cease to be pleased.

  11. Ed Says:

    We are now banned in public hospitals, schools, and in all of Saudi Arabia.

    We rule.

  12. erik Says:

    let that not be underspoken…

    THE COUNTRY OF SAUDI ARABIA CAN'T LOOK AT GINANDTACOS.

    …Mike, do you still have that screen shot somewhere of what happens when you try?

  13. Beth Says:

    I think what the administration personally feels about gays, gay bashers, and gay prostitutes is irrelevant. Obviously Cheney's daughter is a lesbian, and she was just sent on a mission to the middle east. What's important is that they are pushing the anti-gay vibe in order to divide and conquer the country. For all we know, Bush, Condi, and co are gay loving abortionists who just found a way to win votes. So for them to hire an ex (is he not hooking anymore? or has he gone back to it?) gay prostitute isn't that far fetched.