"I can’t think of anybody who has a racist thought on Darkie Day."

Alright, British readers. Off your high horses.

There's been a bit of a spat lately in the Isles by whom we were once goverened. Apparently the folks of the village of Padstow (which I can only assume is near Cowley, which is the area we Americans know as "the Alabama of Britain") have an annual tradition called Darkie Day. Yes, it means what you think it means. Everyone dresses up in blackface and "sings slave songs"/dances/does whatever those wacky negroes do. The event is approximately a century old….coincidentally enough it originated around the same time that American minstrel shows with blackfaced actors imitating "slave" song and dance appeared in the U.K.

Some people – whiny liberals, every one of them – have suggested that this is slightly racist. The people of Padstow certainly disagree.

Linda Reynolds, 50, of Padstow: “I have always gone out to Darkie Day. If it was even vaguely racist I would be the first one to stand up and shout. I was in a relationship with a black man. I can’t think of anybody who has a racist thought on Darkie Day. It’s a traditional event at which people get blacked-up. They are not imitating black people.”

The folks of the CPS, to their credit, have finally grown some balls – enough to at least do some saber-rattling about prosecuting the organizers of this event (which traditionally is used to raise charitable funds for the local church).

It is comforting to know that America is not the only country in which the white underclass of backward retards is willing to fight so hard for the right to be racist tools. It's good to see that they're willing to get in such an uproar over what's really important to them: trying to keep "darkies" in their place so that there's someone beneath the dumbass crackers of Padstow on the social ladder. If they would only redirect a small portion of that energy towards, oh, I don't know, learning to read or something, they might not have to worry about being the bottom of the British barrel.

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10 Responses to “"I can’t think of anybody who has a racist thought on Darkie Day."”

  1. Dave Says:

    Hey, it's just one town… Plus our police force, army, government, schools, hospitals…

    You surely didn't think you had a monopoly on ignorance and racism did you? Not when our government have been doing such fine work as stooges in that spot of Darkie-bashing we've all been engaged in for a little while now…

  2. J. Dryden Says:

    Damn–if the Brits are going to close the racism gap, all we're going to have to feel good about as Americans is that our serial killers are way cooler than theirs.

  3. Dave Says:

    Hey, come on, we had Jack the Ripper. The guy wore a top hat (probably). What more do you want?

  4. J. Dryden Says:

    Hey, full marks for dress and deportment–the surgical mutilation and the probable cannabalism get major points, too–but come on–five prostitutes? That's like, a long weekend for one of our bad boys. Quantity is just as importment as quality in this competition. (Of course, you guys DO have Shipman, who for quantity just leads the pack. Then again, most of his victims would've died of natural causes pretty soon anyway.) But where's the elan of a Richard Ramirez? The zest of a John Wayne Gacy? The je ne sais quoi of a Ted Bundy? No question that England started things off right with Jack, but besides Shipman and that 10 Rillington Place guy, what've you done SINCE, I ask?

  5. Dave Says:

    I admit, we've slacked off. Shipman did big things, but he had no flair whatsoever. Did you see that beard? Not a good serial killer look. No elan.

    I think though, that we've got to be best killers overall. I'm talking long-term here. You don't run an empire without some good oldd-fashioned murder and humiliation. State-sanctioned or no, many of our best military men were serial killers. Serial killers with swords. Now that's cool.

    I mean, there's got to be a reason they got a British guy to lead in AMERICAN psycho, right? We just tap into it better.

    Don't believe me? Visit Newcastle.

  6. J. Dryden Says:

    Point conceded–especially since there's that long-standing tradition in Hollywood of producers saying "We need a murderous-yet-elegant psychopath–someone who can kill dozens, perhaps thousands without hesitation and look good doing it–get me Jason Isaacs/Sean Bean/Alan Rickman/Tim Roth/Gary Oldman/Anthony Hopkins"–thank God we've still got Chris Walken…

  7. Doug Says:

    Guys you have it wrong. Padstows in cornwall which is like surf centre of britain (oh and i live in london by the way). if you want a backwards retard area look at somerset or wales…or up north

  8. J. Dryden Says:

    Is "up north" an expression of that whole Johnsonian "Much may be made of a Scotchman, if he be caught young" attitude?

  9. Dave Says:

    Cornwall is pretty damn backwards. Surfers are only there part of the time, the rest it's redneck central. I spent a couple of weeks touring Cornwall in my childhood. I stayed with an elderly woman who repeatedly claimed I had a beautiful aura, and told me not to go near the local girls, or I'd get syphilis.

    I was 14. That is why I drink.

  10. Toyshika Epps Says:

    I have a problem with it, like many other black people. For the record, we surely don't want to be called "negroes", or have anyone save those slave songs, the sames one that were sung for the "Master", as he whipped men/woman. I don't think I see anyone having a let's dress up as KKK or NAZI day, parading around hanging people, to embrace the culture. How is any one culture supposed to move on, if we have events like this?