Well, the amount of money allocated by Homeland Security to places like New York, Chicago, Washington DC, and Las Vegas has been dramatically slashed in favor of election year pork to marginal Congressional districts. If you missed that story, Indiana was deemed to have the highest number of terrorism targets in the nation.
I'm not fucking kidding. They have seriously identified the following as terrorist targets, among others:
In case you were wondering what these high-risk targets have been doing with their massive slush-fund checks, let's use Germantown, TN (a state with a key open Senate seat) as an example.
The affluent community has one of the lowest crime rates in the nation. It is home to endless McMansions filled with white-flight Memphis baby boomers. It is 93% white and has a $94,000 average household income – nearly three times the national average.
For some reason (not because it's an election year and not because Bill Frist is a Tennesseean) the community got a $200,000 grant from DHS to purchase a military-spec armored vehicle called a "BearCat" to "put the community at the forefront of preparedness."
God only knows what Germantown, TN needs to be prepared for, but one thing is abundantly clear – there's a whole town full of 52 year old white guys with a giant boner right now. This is the best marital aid ever devised for rich, suburban, reactionary conservative Middle Class American Dad. I mean, just look at this ridiculous fucking thing. I'm surprised it doesn't say "TONKA" and have racing stripes on it. But it's good to know that Germantown has it (instead of nearby crime-ridden and Democrat-leaning Memphis) in case things get out of hand at the Pier 1 Imports this weekend.