THOSE DAMNED BLUE COLLAR TWEEKERS

So the principals of this website are about as obsessed with CMT's Trick My Truck as any non-hillbillies could possibly be. It is beyond any doubt the worst show ever made on about 30 different levels, which in my book means it is Must See TV.

As I pondered the death of my academic career while watching Ryno and Scrapyard trick the hell out of a man's truck in the image of the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial (!!!!) it suddenly hit me: I need to become a trucker.

I love driving. I like the idea of a meth habit. I have absolutely no relevant or marketable skills. I'm not all that bright and getting kinda fat. The elements, Mr. Watson, are falling into place.

And I hesitate to even mention it in fear of jinxing things, but….I could stand a chance (however small) of having My Truck Tricked. That would pretty much validate my entire existence – meeting C.B. down at the Petro, watching Rob and CJ mock my truck's shoddy un-Tricked appearance, and being gawked at by whatever portion of CMT's mouthbreathing fan base manages to find the remote that evening. Since you're all responsible for nominating me, start thinking of an appropriate sob story and Tricking theme on the double.

Most of all, I'd finally have a respectable career – one that my fellow idiots eulogize as being noble, thankless, quintessentially American, and other verbal masturbatory paeans. Trucking makes America great! No truckers = no America!

I guess a wise man wasn't kidding when he said those damn blue-collar tweekers are the backbone of this town.

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3 Responses to “THOSE DAMNED BLUE COLLAR TWEEKERS”

  1. Nate Says:

    Git R' Duuunnn!

  2. peggy Says:

    Now, while I'm sure that Trick Mah Truck is immensely, awesomely terrible, I'm wondering: can you really say it is the worst show *ever* without watching the Wet Seal and Wet'n'Wild Makeup Trains Colliding Horrorbox of Terror that is "The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Pussycat Dolls' Search for the Next Pussycat Doll"?

    it airs on–act surprised–"the NEW CW."

  3. Ed Says:

    That sounds pretty awful, I'm not going to lie.

    But we are both fooling ourselves into thinking anything can really be worse than "Small Wonder."