NPF: The Scariest Horror Movie Ever

One of my favorite old posts on ginandtacos is Erik's take on the realdoll community, as it was presented to us by a salon.com article that started a whole Internet meme fest on what it means to spend over $5,000 on a masturbation toy. Realdolls, in case you don't know, are 'realistic' looking rubber dolls (see picture of 'davecat' below) that cost a large sum of money, that tend to get purchased by people who are acting out a relationship with them. Do read the ginandtacos post, it includes some great comments from the readers.

One thing that was linked to in the article was, from the Realdoll's webpage, was the Realdoll FAQ (not work safe). It is quite disturbing to read, as it quickly switches from (real examples) "Question: What sort of people buy REALDOLL? Answer: REALDOLL customers include …scientists, health professionals, housewives" to questions such as " Question: Tell me more about the doll's entries. Answer: The inside of the Vaginal and Anal entries use a different grade of silicone than the rest of REALDOLL's body…" – you don't want to go any further. It goes from normal to disturbing quickly. As Erik put it in his entry: "I honestly could not read any more than a fraction of it before I had to close the browser."

Eventually we all started daring each other to read it, and the entire FAQ was read, and though it was years ago, it still freaks me out to think about it. And now there is this:

"Guys and Dolls" (hat tip to feministing). Evidently someone wasn't satisfied by reading a salon article and making fun of these losers; they had to go even further and sponsor a British documentary crew to interview as many subjects as they could find and investigate the factory. The video is 46 minutes and it is virtually impossible to watch. It is like the Realdoll FAQ to the tenth power. It is probably the best accidental horror movie ever made.

So have any of you been dared, or dared someone to watch a horror movie? Junior-high sleepovers, "What are you, chicken?!?!?" For Politics-Free Friday, my dare to you audience, is to start watching and note what time and/or event freaks you out to the point where you had to stop watching. I tried, and I mean I tried to finish the thing (I am in fact daring you), but my on my first try I could only make it to minute 15 when a guy from Virginia starts showing off his collection of AK-47s and Mac-10s along with his realdolls ("that's three [automatic] guns and two realdolls I own…"). He waves a glock in the air above a Realdoll taking a "nap" in his bed, and talks about the Mac-10 he "would carry around". It is way too much. In the first couple of minutes you get to see Davecat (goth kid above) mention something like "the problem my dad has with her is that she's not alive" in my-dad-is-a-bigot-teenage-righteousness way.

The second try I made it to minute 20, where you get to see the factory where the dolls are made, and the endless torsos and pelvic areas hanging from chains or moving along assembly lines is like something out of a slaughterhouse. Forget Saw and J-Horror flicks, this is seriously the most disturbing horror movie I've ever seen.

14 thoughts on “NPF: The Scariest Horror Movie Ever”

  • I made it to nine minutes and forty-eight seconds when he started to enter his dead mother's room. I have a very strong and icky feeling that that is where he "plays" with his dolls.

  • I made it to to about 18 minutes. I have no problem with the guns (side note from your friendly neighborhood liberal gun nut: the weapons he displayed were semi-automatic, which means that one bullet is fired each time the trigger is pulled, not fully automatic, where the trigger can be continually depressed for continuous fire–this is a fairly common confusion among the anti-gun crowd), though it is annoying to me that a lot of people will see this and assume that all gun owners are rednecks from rural Virginia who play with Realdolls. Also, he apparently kept the Glock under his pillow, which seemed entirely unnecessary.

    The really creepy bit for me came anytime that a Realdoll was chained to a hook, especially the last one, and where it shows him filming the dolls, indicating that he probably films himself having sex with them. Then when he started talking about how he wanted to be buried with them, cause "they're pretty small, and I'm pretty small, and I figure if we got a large casket…" I turned it off.

  • With copious beer and an ongoing discussion about the social and sexual issues, we made it through the whole thing. I conclude that if Ed Gein had had a Realdoll we wouldn't now have movies like Psycho and Silence of the Lambs.

  • At 3:10 when davecat was putting the dead girl's – i mean "doll's" – socks on her, I felt a wave of nausea and had to look away. This guy exemplifies, albeit in a horribly exaggerated way, what I have found to be true about so many men I've known: they fear women and hate women they can't control.

  • Wow. I made it through. Sober.

    What kind of goth Indian kid has $5000 lying around to buy a doll? His dad must be a doctor or something. (zing!)

    I couldn't help but feel sorry for the British dude, because he seems absolutely lost in life. It was downright depressing to hear him talk about his outlook and personal experiences.

  • This was really bizarre but I managed to get through the whole thing in one sitting. I think that all of the featured people who bought dolls in this film were depressed by the way they describe their outlook on life and such.

  • What. The. Fuck. This is some of the scariest shit I've ever seen. I made it as far as about minute 16 or so. At first it was like a car wreck; the old "I know I should not look, yet I cannot turn away" chestnut. Then I started getting really nauseous.

    I think maybe Gordon from Virginia could have his own spin-off documentary. They could call it "Guns, Broads and Two-handed Broad Swords: One Man, and his profound Love for Inanimate Objects.

    I've never seen anything so dangerously close to state sanctioned necrophilia. I've never been so dangerously close to being lost for words.

  • I made it to the "She's still sleeping" introduction of the Brit's doll–the horror of the 'oh my God there isn't even the slightest recognition that it's not a human being' realization was quickly followed by the back-breaking straw: That disembodied 'awake' face lying nearby. So, let's be clear about this: he neatly 'skins' her face to put her to sleep and wake her up. That was it for me…

  • You'll have to forgive me. Being an aussie, I don't really know who Joe Torre is. But when I read the above entry I cringed at the thought that any person might share a resemblance to that disturbing soul from the documentary. After doing a web search on Joe Torre though, I concluded that he really does look somewhat like him.

    For the record, I stole (no pun intended) myself, first: from imagining the guy from the documentary swinging his bat around, second: from imagining what he thinks a players box is, and third: how little it takes for him to get to third base with his 'Reginia'. He's home!!! (okay now, so pun intended…) Don't even get me started on the 7th inning stretch.

    Yeah, so maybe I thought about this way too much…

  • …and the graduate most likely to climb clock towers with automatic weapons award goes to…wait for it…DAVECAT!!!!!!!!!!

  • Okay…when the doll repair guy said his girlfriend was uncomfortable with the dolls, the last thing I expected him to say was that it was because the "dolls are intimidating to women."

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