I've spent the last several hours grading final exams. My brain is pudding.
While I was on the topic of very loud, very public bouts of hand-wringing, the reaction to the long-awaited "Mitchell Report" about steroids in baseball is slaying me. In the midst of hours of debate over important questions like "Is Roger Clemens still a Hall of Famer??" the whole world is conveniently missing more pressing points, namely the fact that that entire industry is getting a pass on a decade-plus of Federal drug law violations.
Mailing Schedule 1 drugs across state lines….hmm, lots of people in prison for that. Possession with intent to distribute (numerous stories of players giving other players illegal drugs)….hmm, I think there are a lot of people in prison for that too. I like baseball. But I'd really appreciate it if just one of these pricks could put the situation in the proper context and admit how f'n lucky they are to be discussing things as trivial as baseball records and honors instead of "So how much time is Clemens going to spend in Federal Pound-Me-in-the-Ass Prison?"
It reminds me vaguely of the old Catholic Church pedophilia scandal, when the organization apparently thought "Don't worry, we'll handle the investigation in-house" was good enough for Federal prosecutors. These multimillionaire athletes are so goddamn lucky to begin with, and here the entire sport has been given a blanket pass on the kinds of things poor people go to prison for every day. They can't even take the free pass gracefully – with an apology and humble pie. No, they have the balls to get indignant, continue issuing denials, and demand all the honors they believe they are due. You'd think that the privilege of being able to conduct their own toothless investigation of two decades of felony drug crimes would produce a collective "We really dodged a bullet" sigh of relief. You'd be wrong.