Remember (and really, how could you forget?) the horrifying, Wagonhalt "cheerleader" video from Michelle Malkin? Looks like Ms. I'm So Bad I Actually Got Fired From Fucking Fox News is back to prove that there are additional talents she doesn't have.
I'm warning you before you watch this: it is really bad. Not "bad" like "That movie was OK but I wouldn't pay $8 to see it again." Not "bad" like your adorable young child's first school music recital. It's the kind of bad that haunts you when you are alone. It makes you reconsider the way you feel about the existence of God. It may have you scrambling to find twin screwdrivers so that you may jam them through both eardrums simultaneously.
I made it about 1:25. How about you? I actually went back later and listened to the remainder just in case it got better. It did not. It sounds like that nice 45 year-old lady at your doctor's office…being forced to audition for American Idol at gunpoint, recording the performance on a Watergate-era tape deck.
I want all of my friends, bretheren, countrymen, and even enemies on the political right to sit down and do some serious soul-searching. Like most people gain weight with age and realize things like "There are dozens of ways I can dress attractively; wearing a halter top is not one of them," maybe it's time to admit that there are some things you're good at…..and comedy isn't one of them. Seriously. Michelle Malkin? Not funny. Dennis Miller? The Half Hour News Hour? Larry the Cable Guy? "Mallard Fillmore?" Brad Stine? All of these things and people are christ-rapingly awful. Humorous they are not. Mildly amusing they are not. They're just bad. Bad, bad, bad. Stop it. For a political coalition consisting of the brazenly anti-intellectual, humorless Puritans, and people who consider profit to be the sole legitimate arbiter of value, maybe creativity and humor are not going to be your thing.
We still love you, but go write a goddamn book on tax cuts or something. One's battles must be chosen carefully in life based on honest self-analysis. You might want to concede comedy to the Pagan Left. There's less shame in quitting than in videos like this.