ABBA AND THE NEW 9-11

Joe Biden once said, In the finest political zinger this side of Lloyd Bentsen (coincidentally also a Democratic VP nominee), that there are three components to every sentence Rudy Giuliani delivers: a noun, a verb, and 9-11. John McCain never caught the highly-infectious 9-11 Tourette's Syndrome, but I think it has been replaced with something even more pathetic: POW Tourette's. I think that by the end of this campaign we will be seeing exchanges like this:

Waiter: Would you prefer the dressing on the side, Senator?

McCain: Well, I don't know. I was a POW after the plane I was flying got shot down during the Vietnam War, which I served in. So the five years I was a POW mean that I missed a lot of the big trends in salad dressings – the Vietcong didn't give us dressing, and I know that because I flew a plane that got shot down and I was a POW.

Lieberman: He'll have ranch.

Hyperbole? You decide. After all, he responded to a question about his favorite band with his POW tale.

“If there is anything I am lacking in, I’ve got to tell you, it is taste in music and art and other great things in life,” McCain joked. “I’ve got to say that a lot of my taste in music stopped about the time I impacted a surface-to-air missile with my own airplane and never caught up again.”

Read that several times and explain to me how "I like ABBA because they're bitchin'" is not an acceptable, complete answer. Of what possible relevance are those five years he spent in Vietnam, now nearly four decades ago? Did he not have a favorite band before that? Has he been denied the opportunity to listen to music since 1974? I think a few albums have come out since then. Let me check.

Yep. At least four.

ABBA (or Waylon Jennings or old Prussian marching music or whatever McCain actually listens to when he isn't trying to court suburban female voters) is a perfectly acceptable answer for a 71 year old man who was an adult in 1976. It is an acceptable whether he was a POW or a free man. In a coma or wide awake. It just isn't relevant. But I'm going to assume that we're in for quite a bit more of this in the next 8-10 weeks.

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5 Responses to “ABBA AND THE NEW 9-11”

  1. vghoul Says:

    One of the few times I HAVEN'T seen McCain prattle on about the POW thing when it could be construed as the slightest bit topical was when he flip-flopped on waterboarding. And really, you'd a hilarious Stockholm Syndrome joke to soften the blow would have been the LEAST he could do. :}

  2. vghoul Says:

    er, you'd THINK a hilarious… etc.

  3. Dustin Says:

    He's a stereotypical military guy, so answers like that aren't surprising coming from him. Yeah, he's a bit of a stiff and he's not as cool as Obama, no one expects him to be though. To me, he usually comes off as quite personable and even funny (for example, his appearance last night on Leno).

    P.S. The salad dressing dialogue – HILARIOUS!

  4. cerb Says:

    Hey, Dustin, you sure your head isn't lodged firmly up your ass? He only comes off as personable because he throws in a token "my friends" into every sentence while bearing a heavy resemblance to a grandpa who spouts off war stories while you sit on his knee.

    Nevermind that this old fuck is a racist who doesn't understand a goddamn thing about the economy while yearning to get back to the good ol' days of the Cold War. His "foreign policy expertise" is him merely name dropping capitals and countries while Lieberman and Graham fumble over each other trying to suck off his old, wrinkly 71-year-old cock.

  5. J Says:

    cerb is short for acerbic.