WEEKEND BONUS: NO-COLLAR COMEDY TOUR

This premise is flawed.

Glenn Beck is bringing his summer comedy stage tour to movie theaters nationwideso that no matter where you live, you can join! Bring your family and take a trip to your local movie theater this summer (complete with comfy seats and air conditioning) to examine common sense, which is no longer common! Glenn spares no one, including politicians and celebrities, as he takes a look at the state of our culture and the frightening lack of common sense, especially in Washington. Explore the comedy behind the chaos that has become America. Hear the tales and revisit the wisdom that our grandfathers and forefathers relied on to build America.

I tried very hard to think of something with less potential to be funny. All I could think of was the Holocaust. I feel really, really bad for all the young people whose ignorant cracker parents are going to drag them to this and force them to think it's funny – and educational!

Note that Glenn intends to break new ground comedically by refusing to spare "politicians and celebrities" from his rapier wit.

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8 Responses to “WEEKEND BONUS: NO-COLLAR COMEDY TOUR”

  1. John Says:

    The problem is that conservatives are incapable of conceiving of the notion others refer to as humor. The bible didn't tell any jokes, and corporations are inherently joyless entities. The conservative version of 'humor', therefore, is reduced to vicious ad-hominem attacks with a smug smirk thrown in.

    See also: half-hour news hour.

  2. AnnieChrist Says:

    I am nauseous already, and I'm going to actually puke, when some dumbass on pox network or the new york post inevitably compares beck and his kiddie show to Will Rogers' or Mark Twain's shows. It's only a matter of time, my barf bag is held at the ready.

  3. OliverWendelHolmslice Says:

    I get the feeling that the eventual coverage/mockery of the Glenn Beck Comedy and Puppy Rape Tour ™ by John Stewart on the Daily Show will turn out to be one of the top rated You-Tube videos of the summer. Beck is way out of his league here and the more attention he draws to himself, the more he looks like a sad mockery of a journalist.

    As a side note: The words "Glenn Beck" and "common sense" pair together about as well as "Dick Cheney" and "humility"…feel free to play along at home kids!

  4. Daniel Says:

    Maybe Glenn Beck should check out the American Carol box office figures to show him that republican comedy isn't received too well by the general public.

  5. Nate Says:

    "to examine common sense, which is no longer common!"

    YOU CAN'T HAVE COMMON SENSE IF IT ISN'T COMMON ANY MORE.

  6. Ripley Says:

    How does he have time for a "comedy" tour? Shouldn't he be fighting the good fight against the Obama administration? Socialism isn't funny, Glenn.

  7. Jason Harx Says:

    Well I'm already laughing so there must be some humor here somewhere.
    Link! I must have a link!

  8. Peggy Says:

    Wait, he's not funny, and it's… going to be in theaters?

    …so this is actually more of a… no-comedy non-tour?

    MAN I'm glad I picked the side that's funny. :D