The itinerary for the Inaugural Ed (redacted) Horrible Movie Film Festival:

12:00 – Suburban Commando, starring Hulk Hogan
2:00 – Batman & Robin, aka Batman on Ice
4:00 – You Got Served
6:00 – Firestorm, starring Howie Long
8:00 – Battlefield: Earth
10:00 – Mac & Me

If I don't live, I want a viking funeral.

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21 Responses to “I'M IN OVER MY HEAD”

  1. pmayo Says:

    Needs more Ishtar

  2. odnamrA Says:

    A challenger appears: I'm watching HALLOWEEN III right now.

  3. J. Dryden Says:

    Not a single entry from the Uwe Boll canon? Sacrilege.

  4. jazzbumpa Says:

    Wouldn't be my choice. Everyone to his own form of self-abuse, I guess.

  5. j Says:

    Setting: Outdoor Fruit Market
    Characters: Little Old Lady and Hulk

    Hulk: "How can you tell if a cantaloupe is ripe?"

    Lady: "Just give it a little squeeze…"

    Hulk: "Wow! I found a GOOD one!"

    (The above scene is indelibly burned into my subconsciousness.)

  6. j Says:

    oops, the page edited out the part where Hulk crushes the cantaloupe with one hand.

  7. Ike Says:

    A few months ago I got 6 or 7 Jean Claude Van Damme movies at walmart for about $20 total. Watched them all in one weekend.

  8. Mark Says:

    +1 for Uwe Boll. That guy's movies are rubbish.

  9. MildlyDisturbed Says:

    I've been watching the Erin Andrews peephole video all weekend.

  10. comrade x Says:

    Well, if the bad movie is still entertaining, I nominate MAD MAX starring Mel Gibson.
    The dialogue always cracks me up.

  11. Nate Says:

    Where's "Bring It On 2: It's Broughten"?

  12. bikelib Says:

    You obviously haven't seen the piece of shit known as "Step-brothers".

  13. willf Says:

    Not a single entry from the Uwe Boll canon?

    Or the Cannonball Run?

  14. Daniel Says:

    Uwe intentionally makes bad movies and is well aware of this fact. Joel Schumacher probably thought he was making a good movie, albeit a glorified toy commercial. Another Hogan classic worth checking out it is No Holds Barred.

  15. Daniel Says:

    But I am unsure of the rules of what can make the cut of the Horrible Movie Film Festival.

  16. Chris Says:

    Highlander II. The first movie where I walked out upset that I could never, ever get a refund for those lost minutes in my life.

  17. Ed Says:

    Not only did I laugh – several times – during Step Brothers, but the fact that you think it is even in the same universe as the films suggested here indicates that you do not quite understand what a truly horrible movie looks like.

  18. bikelib Says:

    You actually laughed during "Step-Brothers"? Wow, you musta been power-blazing some kick-ass stinky-stank. Pass that shit over this way, Ed.

  19. Another Luke Says:

    OK, I gotta stand up for Mad Max. That movie does not belong on a bad movies list. It belongs on an awesome movies list, or at least an awesome independent movies list. Seriously, watch it again, because I really think it still holds up. At the very least, it shouldn't go on a bad movies list until its sequels and its innumerable imitations (mostly starring Kevin Costner) are listed (i.e. Beyond Thunderdome, Waterworld, the Postman)

  20. waldo Says:

    What about Heaven's Gate? Gigli? The Hottie & the Nottie? Patch Adams (Or nearly anything with Robyn Williams)? The Room? Grease fucking 2?
    You're getting off light.

  21. fuzzbuzz215 Says:

    Mac and Me is a good movie damnit.