GOOD OL' FASHIONED MODERATE REPUBLICANS

Ah, Maine: the land of Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, and the dying breed of moderate-to-liberal New England GOPers. Surely it must be the last bastion of sanity in the Republican Party. I would have bet money on this, but I have to admit that I'm not terribly knowledgeable about the political environment on the ground in a state that might as well be New Brunswick (Note to vacationers: Skip Bar Harbor and go straight to the Bay of Fundy. Bar Harbor sucks.) Turns out that my image of quaint New England Republicans with pleasant JFK-like accents badly needs updating.

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The state GOP has been conquered by TeaTards. The newly ratified party platform of the Maine GOP is a simply amazing read. It's a coarse mixture of Ron Paul buzzwords, chat topics from the Free Republic forums, neo-Bircherite nonsense, tinfoil-hatted conspiracy theories, and phrases most recently heard from the mouths of your local militiamen.

As I am always careful to emphasize in the classroom, party platforms are essentially meaningless. They're not even remotely binding to any candidate and at best they have a bit of symbolic value. But that symbolic value is important here. This document indicates that the apparatus of the GOP, at least in this single state, has become one with the lunatic fringe. This is literally a laundry list of Glenn Beck's pet projects over the past year: ACORN, the Fairness Doctrine, "card check", cap-and-trade, the favored interpretation of the 10th Amendment among people who have no idea what the 10th Amendment means, and a thick coating of Patriot/Militiaman jargon. You have to see the whole thing for yourself, but some of the highlights include:

1. The downright bizarre, such as repealing the Law of the Sea Treaty and the UN Treaty on the Rights of the Child. If you are ever confused about whether or not you belong to a fringe group and/or are a lunatic, do this simple test: ask yourself "Do I have a strong and negative opinion about something called the Law of the Sea Treaty?" If yes, seek counseling. (If you haven't guessed, this is a pet issue for brainwashing homeschooling advocates.)

2. Whole sections that sound like Ron Paul masturbating, including "Return to the principles of Austrian Economics" – as if any of these assheads have ever read an economics textbook in their lives – and "Pass and implement Fed bill #1207 (Introduced by Ron Paul), to Audit the Federal Reserve, as the first step in Ending the Fed." Good luck with that.

3. Efforts to win the hearts and minds of working voters, like "Clarify that healthcare is not a right. It is a service." and "Reassert the principle that 'Freedom of Religion' does not mean 'freedom from religion'." Don't forget to "eliminate the Department of Education." Then kick back and watch the votes roll in.

4. Pure, unadulterated paranoia that sounds as if written by the Montana Freemen with a quick revision or two by Terry Nichols. "Repeal and prohibit any participation in efforts to create a one world government." "Restore 'Constitutional law' as the basis for the Judiciary." (It sounds so legit when 'Constitutional law' is in quotes.

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) "Oppose any and all treaties with the UN or any other organization or country which surrenders US sovereignty.
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" And of course, "investigate collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth, and prosecute any illegal collusion." I had no idea that anti-regulation "industry" was participating in "collusion" to propagate the myth of climate change.

Like many people who are far removed from it, I am fascinated by the extreme right. I mean, just read their manifestos and their "tax protester" legal logic. To do so is to stare in wonder at the people who can not only imagine this shit but also believe it. Sure, most of it is just buzzwords (say "Sovereign" and "natural rights" a lot and you're golden on the militia lecture circuit) from people who lack the intellectual firepower to understand the comics let alone the Constitution. But upon closer examination it really is quite amazing the web of delusions they have managed to create. They are like a thousand Tolkiens, each with an entire fantasy universe inside their heads.

Fortunately one needn't dig quite as deep to find this kind of material anymore. As Maine and the Teabagging movement in general have proven, this kind of incoherent babble from America's future Federal courthouse bombers is becoming quite mainstream.

31 thoughts on “GOOD OL' FASHIONED MODERATE REPUBLICANS”

  • I used to be proud that the Republicans from my state were relatively moderate. Now I'm just ashamed.

    Thanks for blogging about this.

  • Northern and Western Maine is company land, where mills are run by the same people who manage the holiness churches, the town councils and the sand pit alcohol and big wheels shoot offs, where black folks get run off and homosexuals get beatings.

  • All of which explains Snowe and Collin's behavior during the past 18 months, they are scared to death they will get the same treatment as Bennett or Crist. And it would appear, they had good reason.

  • Maine is the Idaho of New England. A nice place to go fishing or camping, and the people are generally friendly and good-hearted, but try to just smile, nod, and ignore anything that comes out of their mouths about politics.

  • The country is being over run by people whose ignorance is only exceeded by their delusions.

    They are angry, they are motivated, and they vote.

    We are well and truly fucked.

    Shit!
    JzB

  • Maine has done some progressive things and then the lunatic fringe manages to repeal it or screw it up.

    You act like the Tea-Baggers taking over the Republic Party is a bad thing. I see it as the first step to the party becoming the Whigs of the 21st century.

  • Crazy for Urban Planning says:

    Kulkuri – I thought they would head to whig land a few months ago… but hells bells these activist are crazy. Are they powerful enough to actually change anything? I sure hope not.

  • Just another Republican ranting about Liberty and Freedom while having no intention of delivering either. Their manifesto contains the following paragraph:

    "The Tea Party movement is reminiscent of the principled revolt that led to the birth of the Republican Party in 1854.  In June of that year, Horace Greeley referred to the newly formed Republicans as “united to restore the Union to its true mission of champion and promulgator of Liberty…".  This year it is incumbent upon those Republicans who strive to protect and defend our Constitution, to reclaim that heritage."

    Promulgators of Liberty? A fairly strange title for a party that wants to control which plants you can smoke and who you can sleep with. Strange for a party that wishes to make you an indentured wage slave that can't even afford basic healthcare without being beholden to corporate demands.

    I will never understand how the American people allow Republicans to get away with this naked hypocrisy. How can they stomach constant appeals to notions of Freedom™ and Liberty™ from the party that wants to wire tap us all just in case there are any Terrorists™ about? How can they hear this tripe about limiting the "Power of Government"™ without reflexively vomitting as they recall that those same peddlers of lofty idealist buzzwords think the Government™ should have full license to do whatever they want to whomever they want — including torture which is specifically prohibited in our laws they claim to worship so much — in the pursuit of Terrorists™?

    It doesn't make sense. It makes me sick.

  • If you think that any position that deviates from the Left wing of the D party is fallacious well nigh come to evil, then the following line of questions is irrelevant.

    What would happen if the R party became the Spec-Coll-Snow (Spector before conversion, Collins, and Snowe)? Would there be any significant differences between Rs and, say Blue Dog Ds?

    Wouldn't the Spec-Coll-Snow party be just as irrelevant as the proto-Whigs y'all are salivating for?

    I submit, indeed, the Spec-Coll-Snow Party would be subsumed, consumed, and stiff broomed into the Right side of the D party. No?

    //bb

  • bb:

    I agree with you.

    What this implies, however, is not that S/C/Sn are to the left of center; rather, the median of our political discourse is WAAAAAAY off to the right. The "Right side of the D party" is pretty much the whole thing. The Left wing of the Democrats is really the idealogical middle. And our Red comrades in the Right of the Republicans are picking up their talking points from the teabaggers. There are so few actual liberals left in Congress, I can only think of one off the top of my head – Kucinich. Anyone else?

  • anotherbozo says:

    Our guy, Jerrold Nadler (NY) is pretty good, low key though.

    I'm still trying to deal with the NYTimes survey that claimed Teabaggers (I like TeaTards) have on average more college education than other Americans. If that's true, what does it say about our colleges? The educator in charge of this website may be tempted to slit his wrists.

  • anotherbozo: i won't believe the "more edujumacation" allegation until i see the diplomas/birth certificates.

  • Nahhh, I think that was a joke written by a pretty smart, very stoned college student.
    .
    .
    .
    So, um, post the link debunking it. Please.

  • My worry is that I see more radical Lefties abandoning social justice issues in favor of the simplistic financial positions of Ron Paul and Lyndon LaRouche. This is not a (harmless as ever) form of anti-establishment whimsy. A lifetime disinterest in math and econ has turned into worrying about funding their imminent retirements, and finding relief in cheap salvation of the conspiracy theory.

    For these guys, buying into the philosophies of racist, sexist, homophobic abusers of rhetoric is no big deal — these radical Lefties want a return to the gold standard, an audit of the Fed, freedom from Rothchild/InterAlpha domination of American domestic policy. They exhaust me as much as the Freemen do back home. They look more like the same side all the time.

  • My dad used to sell guns to some of the Montana Militia (pre 9/11). Basically they want to grow weed, keep guns, and not pay taxes. They also want to put a wall around the state and chase out any out-of-staters (i.e. anyone whose birth certificate says anything other than Montana). Mostly they just want to be left alone, which is getting harder and harder with all the people moving into Montana which I don't get, I left that godforsaken state as fast as I could.

  • The Maine GOP kooks left the best for last: "repeal and prohibit any efforts to participate in a one world govt". Whaaa?

    New campaign slogan: "Vote GOP, because the Lizard People want to eat your babies!"

  • "What a revoltin' development this is." William Bendix, "The Life of Riley" 1950s TV show.

    What we apparently have here is that people on the Left think that any minute now a flame spewing, racist-bigot-homophobe Right Winger (uh..redundant?) Tea Tard boot licker of El Rushbo is gonna emerge out of the "etheric" (thanks Brother Dave Gardner) as the Next Big DICtator frog marching all y'all Lefties into the Camps.

    Meantime back at the Bar Right Wing Ranch (say that fast ten times!) us TTs are reloading ammo, stocking up supplies, getting ready for the Red Cloud descending with that Muslim Anti-Christ BHO fixin' to git us….

    Who would have thunk it?

    //bb

  • What's in a name? says:

    @wellnab

    "There are so few actual liberals left in Congress, I can only think of one off the top of my head – Kucinich. Anyone else?"

    Let's not label one of the few champions of the people still in government with that moniker.

    As a younger, more consistent and earnest Christopher Hitchens once said liberals are "dangerous compromisers."

    Kucinich and Bernie Sanders are the only two, true leftists that come to mind.

  • Crazy for Urban Planning says:

    You really are all very spot on today – real politions I can relate to are dead and buried. Its Dennis Kucinich (with his hot wife) and Bernie Sanders & they both are basically ignored by everyone in the world…

  • Prediction: the new Tory ( Conservative) PM of the United Kingdom will advocate more " left- wing" positions than our " Marxist" President.
    Yeah- that's how effed- up the political spectrum is in the U.S.A.

  • What's in a name? says:

    By upholding the concept of universal healthcare as a human right/refusing to make cuts to the NHS even in a time of economic turmoil Cameron already has.

  • @wellnab

    Senator Sharrod Brown D-OH is pretty liberal. Maybe not as liberal as sanders or kucinich.

    That raises another point, every time i hear someone say "Obama was the most liberal member in the senate" i can instantly conclude they know nothing about politics otherwise they would know who bernie sanders is.

  • Don't most people who are calm and confident in their political beliefs feel they are moderate? A person who feels his position is reasonable thinks anyone to the left or right tends to the extreme. More "I am the center of the universe" snowflake-ism, really.

  • kucinich seems to me less a left-winger and more of an ignorant hard-liner. He almost voted against HCR because of no public option. Someone pointed out, though, that the reason Congress was okay with getting rid of the public option is because via all the laws governing the behavior of insurance providers they are essentially all public options. They are no longer in the game of assessing people's risk. His vote may have been a critical down vote had he been more stubborn.

  • "party platforms are essentially meaningless. They're not even remotely binding to any candidate and at best they have a bit of symbolic value."

    I used to believe this too.

    But then former Texas governor George W. Bush was elected and made a pretty good stab at implementing some of the worst parts of the Texas Republican Party Platform for the year 2000.
    You can find parts of that document here:
    http://mydd.com/2005/5/13/the-goals-of-the-republican-party

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