NPF: I AM A CAMPFIRE AND YOU ARE THE SUN

One of the most frequent questions I get, be it from readers I know personally or random internet strangers, is "What does 'FJM' mean?" It stands for Fire Joe Morgan, a defunct blog about baseball written by a trio that remained anonymous for years but finally revealed their identities a short while before throwing in the towel ('Ken Tremendous' turned out to be Michael Schur, who is one of the head writers for The Office…and Dwight Schrute's cousin Mose). While very little Ginandtacos content is baseball-related – believe me, I resist the temptation almost weekly – I regularly borrow the classic FJM format of inserting smart-assed responses and profane comments into the text of an opinion column.

I've sent a few Ginandtacos FJMs to the original FJM troika but, being Hollywood Types, I assume they have better things to do with their time, or at least more important people to waste it with, than to read this thing or respond to random emails. With all due respect, I believe I've gotten pretty good at their art form with time and practice. I am no "dak" or Ken Tremendous, nor am I ready for employment at Fremulon Insurance, but I feel like I have gotten to the point at which I can FJM some pile of journalistic shit effectively enough that I wouldn't embarrass myself if compared to the masters.

Then I received with great delight the news of deadspin.com's FJM Reunion. Seeing the trio back at work again is a wonderful if somewhat humbling reminder of how far I have to go to reach their level of excellence. Just…go there now. Read. Drink it in. Unfortunately (and I think this is one point in favor of the G&T FJM) their pieces will not make sense to non-baseball fans. To limit such brilliance to a small subset of American sports fans is a shame. Without understanding Juan Pierre, VORP, Derek Jeter, the verbal diarrhea of Joe Morgan himself, and the occasion Plaschke op-ed, one cannot really appreciate what they are doing.

I hope the reunion becomes an annual event. In the meantime I will continue to use FJM as both a verb and a noun to pay homage to the original site. Guys, if you ever stumble across Ginandtacos while Googling "FJM", rest assured that I have done my best to uphold the guiding principle of FireJoeMorgan.com: to point out mercilessly – in the most profane and amusing way possible – retarded arguments made by nitwits in the vain hope of making our world more hospitable to logic and hostile to demonstrably false folk wisdom and "common sense."

Now go. Learn from the elders.

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13 Responses to “NPF: I AM A CAMPFIRE AND YOU ARE THE SUN”

  1. John Danley Says:

    And "T2" could work well for TeaTards (i.e., the T-squared T-Turds). Or, a T3 "T-cubed" TeaTard trifecta.

    Either way, thanks for the salient and prescient FJM treatments.

  2. eau Says:

    Still laughing.

    http://deadspin.com/5644786/reports-of-murray-chasss-sanity-have-been-greatly-exaggerated

  3. eau Says:

    And I know four fifths of fuck all about baseball. Still hilarious.

  4. acer Says:

    The FJMs are my favorite thing about ginandtacos. I've seen other blogs try them, too, and they usually outdo themselves. Genius is no man's property.

  5. dylan Says:

    What is a "dak?"

  6. daphne Says:

    As one who hasn't cared about baseball – or any sport for that matter – since your father and I were children, I can only urge you to continue your version of the FJM treatment on deserving conservatives, which I find highly therapeutic.

  7. Erin Says:

    I don't remember how I found G&T, but the first article I read was an FJM. I was pretty amazed how it was applied to political hacks as I had only read it at their site and by Big Daddy Drew's weekly destruction of Peter King's shit sandwich called Monday Morning Quarterback at Kissing Suzy Kolber (a very hilarious and profane NFL-focused sport blog). I think KSK also blasted Bill Simmons' Sports Guy column but couldn't muster giving a shit about the NBA enough to continue..

    I think you're do the FJM-style a great service. Thank you.

  8. Erin Says:

    By the way, that was the grittiest I've seen Deadspin since last year. Really got some dirt on their uniforms.

  9. rvadem Says:

    it is an annual event. they did it last year too

  10. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    Dude, how can I ever thank you enough for pointing me to the FJM reunion? I can't stop fucken laughing. Even PhysioCat is looking at me like I've lost my fucken mind!

  11. Chief Says:

    When they enshrine Pete at Cooperstown and baseball gets a commissioner that represents the owners, players and the FANS (instead of that half-ass used car salesman), maybe I'll watch a game or two.

  12. snark Says:

    Not sure if you realized this, but they did a reunion last year as well.

  13. Erin Says:

    I know FJM did it last year which is why I wrote what I wrote. Read up on your David Eckstein or Darin Erstad fan-fiction on firejoemorgan.com