BREAKTHROUGH

After a PJ Media link Monday and the (latest in a seemingly endless parade of) GOP debate(s) on Tuesday evening, I am overloaded with stupid. The gears in my brain are so gummed up with nonsense right now; it looks like someone fed a deep dish pizza into a paper shredder. To pick out one example of the lunacy and elevate it above the others would itself be lunacy, but I will run that risk to highlight the otherworldly stupidity of Michele Bachmann's "Double Fence" idea. A few days ago she became the first candidate to sign a formal pledge to build a fence on the Mexican border. Little did voters suspect she was actually promising them two fences. That's great value!

The inherent flaw in the "border fence" idea – the latest in a series of Election 2012 proposals that are actually reheated ideas from the early 1990s – is that Mexico already possesses advanced fence-defeating technologies:

But if there's a double fence…that could be a game changer. It will take Mexican scientists decades to catch up even in the most optimistic scenarios.

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38 Responses to “BREAKTHROUGH”

  1. Coises Says:

    “The gears in my brain are so gummed up with nonsense right now; it looks like someone fed a deep dish pizza into a paper shredder.”

    Mmmm…. Brains!

  2. Xynzee Says:

    I thought we were in a spending lock down thanks to her and her other Teabagger friends.
    So which programme will have its funding cut? Better yet, perhaps they tie this being passed to raising taxes on the 1%.

  3. Middle Seaman Says:

    If one fence is made of tortillas and the is made of pizza even Einstein will not find a solution. (In between fences we will have queso fresco.)

  4. Mike Says:

    @Xynzee: FEMA, obviously. Because if your town is destroyed in a natural disaster, it means God hates gay people.

  5. wetcasements Says:

    Stating the obvious here, but I can't get over how the MSM has to pretend that these clowns, with the possible exception of Romney, are "serious" candidates and not the batshit insane clowns and grifters that they truly are.

  6. Fifth Dentist Says:

    "Only in the 2011 Republican presidential race could Ron Paul be a certifiable loon and simultaneously the sanest person on stage when the klown kar 'o krazy stops in some unfortunate location to hold one of their unintentionally hilarious debates." —

    festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com

  7. Major Kong Says:

    A fence? Seriously?

    "Fixed defenses are monuments to the stupidity of man" – George S. Patton

  8. Mackeyser Says:

    This whole Republican party nomination process is crazy.

    We've got what amounts to what can only be described as an Insane Clown Posse. Further, you don't need to actually listen to the debates, you can simply turn the volume down and listen to Cypress Hill's, "Insane in the Membrane" and you've pretty much got it.

    Although, the idea that Republican voters are juggalos… yeah, that's kinda funny…

  9. Jimcat Says:

    Not all Republican voters are juggalos, but I'd be willing to bet that most juggalos vote Republican.

  10. Edgar Says:

    That's it. From here on out, I'm calling the GOP debates "The Gathering of Juggalos." Maybe Charlie Sheen will show up to the next one. I mean, really, if you're going to turn up the crazy, you gotta be willing to go past 11.

  11. Tim H. Says:

    No solution without dealing with the "business" creatures that hire illegals.

  12. Mrs. Chili Says:

    Was it wrong for me to laugh at this?

  13. c u n d gulag Says:

    Someone needs to ask Bachmann 'How good can this fence immigration plan be when it only has two fences?'

    Everyone knows that a single-blade plain razor can miss whiskers that a 2-bladed one catches.
    And then we discovered that 3-blades beats 2.
    And we are now at the very apex of shaving technology, where 4 blades are found to be ncessary for the cleanest shave.

    We can't let our razor blades be more effective at cutting through whiskers than our border fences are at cutting off illegal Messicans!

    We need to privatize the construction of the Border Fences.
    Let Schick build their Quattro Titanium Border Fences Structure.

    Just call it "Four" in good old American – That word 'Quattro' is just too, too, I don't know – French!

  14. anotherbozo Says:

    "it looks like someone fed a deep dish pizza into a paper shredder."

    Ed's way with a phrase might keep me coming back even if I didn't agree with him all the time.
    Beautiful!

  15. deep cap Says:

    Laughed. My. Fuckin. Ass. Off.

  16. sluggo Says:

    The fence is to keep us in!

    Am I the only one that remembers the Berlin Wall???!!!!!

  17. Jonathan Says:

    All you have to do is watch the Penn&Jillette "BS" episode in illegal immigration where they have some illegal immigrants(!) build a fence much like the Patriots proposed and then had them race to see who could get past it first.

    http://youtu.be/BFD1FIPH6nM

    Much like 9.9.9, fences are an easy soundbite-sized "solution" to a complex problem.

  18. JohnR Says:

    "..someone fed a deep dish pizza into a paper shredder."

    [Shatner]Cainnnnnnn![/Shatner]

  19. Dave in Austin Says:

    Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,Number 9,

  20. Vinny Says:

    Between the fences, there will be a moat, and in that moat, there will be sharks with frikin lasers attached to their heads.

  21. vista Says:

    @wetcasements: I don't believe that the MSM is pretending.

  22. Hawes Says:

    Mexican scientists have come up with yet another anti-wall technology that could throw American border security into an uproar:

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rtVVYoqw754/TcmjaICvt7I/AAAAAAAABAY/2NHiqF1iHP0/s1600/shovel.jpg

  23. Elder Futhark Says:

    First of all, we need to set up Opportunity Zones, preferably on non-arable land.
    Secondly, Invisible Fences. All along the border. Note the cost savings. Just one Invisible Fence is required. It will stymie the diabolical Mexican armamentarium of anti-fence-type-thingie material instrumentalities.
    Thirdly, dart, tag, and collar every single person living south of latitude 34 degrees. Oh what the heck, 30 degrees. If a few white people get mixed in, no harm no foul. Don't ask don't tell.
    Also, the collars are equipped with bombs, like in that bank robber movie I saw.
    Fourthly, any dark colored persons won't aren't tagged and collared are immediately shipped off to an Opportunity Zone. Any person north of 30 degrees that is tagged and collared is shipped to an Opportunity Zone, unless they are near an Invisible Fence, in which case, we make 'em walk south and enjoy the show.

  24. CaptBackslap Says:

    Bachmann is clearly trying to riff off the success of Cain's SimCity-based tax plan by mimicking the "double potato" strategy to defeat ladder zombies in Plants Vs. Zombies.

  25. PhoenixRising Says:

    As a Frontera-Americano myself, who was at the time high on (legitimately prescribed) painkillers, I fell off my couch laughing at the double fence. The dog had to help me up.

    My ambition to start an all-gringo mariachi band called '11 Foot Ladder' has been stymied by this double fence notion, though. Perhaps we can add your idea: "Muchachos y muchachas, por favor warmly welcome 11 Foot Ladder & the Bolt Cutters!" Yeah, that works. We'll make a tuba bell cover out of aluminum sheeting.

  26. Southern Beale Says:

    I've always been struck by the GOP's ability to promote two completely contradictory ideas at the same time. For example: every time they go on the attack about illegal immigration, in an ad or a fundraising letter for example, it's always accompanied by a photo of brown people climbing over a fence.

    And then they say we need a fence to stop illegals.

    { face palm }

    So here's their latest grand helping of the teh stoooopid: Tea Party Nation sent a letter out telling all small businesses to stop hiring until Occupy Wall Street ends and a Republican is in the White House. Yes, for real. Stop hiring! When you aren't hiring in the first place! That'll show 'em!

  27. Major Kong Says:

    Make sure we give it a catchy name like "The Maginot Line" or "The Atlantic Wall".

  28. Arslan Says:

    Notice how much further to the right these idiots are compared to the 2000 primaries. There's a reason for this. In order for Obama to move to the right, they need to move even further to the right. Any revelation that they are in fact quite satisfied with Obama's policies and the whole game is over.

  29. West of the Cascades Says:

    What Bachmann doesn't point out is that the old Berlin Wall was in effect a double-fence system, with machine guns trained on the "no man's land" between them. Anyone willing to bet on how many more debates it will take to add that little nuance to the Mexican double-fence system she's proposing?

  30. baldheadeddork Says:

    Double fence? Well, that would save us for maybe 45 seconds instead of the whole twenty seconds of protection we have now.

  31. Ike Says:

    This isn't about fences, but the following bit about Cain's 9-9-9 plan made me laugh out loud for several minutes. Sort of. Just noticed that Perry is now also jumping on the flat tax bandwagon. Now I'm not laughing so much.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/the-9-9-9-plan-in-one-very-long-graph/2011/08/25/gIQAgq8WxL_blog.html

  32. Ike Says:

    But this is about fences: Folks playing volleyball with the fence as a net on the TJ/San Diego border.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM3SkHolLdU&feature=related

    Speaking of, in the Spring of 2003 I was stationed aboard a Coast Guard Cutter. We had been playing around in the Eastern Pacific doing Coast Guard-y things when Washington decided we should return home and protect U.S. Ports. (As it turned out they were a bit concerned that there might be terrorist retaliation following the impending invasion of Iraq.)

    I won't go into great detail, but at one point we encountered a cargo ship suspected of carrying a really bad thing. The sort of thing that makes a city not exist any more. (Turned out later to be a false alarm, but anyway…) Guess what we did with that scary scary ship and it's would-be terrifying cargo? Escorted it away from the always classy city of San Diego, California and directed it to anchor a few miles off the coast of… Tijuana, Mexico!!

    Such good neighbors we are.

  33. jon Says:

    http://bit.ly/qf5tnF The Town of Walnuts has a solution for those who are afraid of ladders.

  34. Tosh Says:

    Bachmann's description sounds like a Demilitarized Zone

  35. Da Moose Says:

    The irony of all of this double fence nonsense is that the government has been spending millions over the past few years to actually build a double fence on many parts of the border. (see links) The current rhetoric is nothing more than scare tactics to take advantage of Americans' ignorance.

    http://media.nowpublic.net/images/24/d/24deb4700cd9f6d380dbee4a7a9a0107.jpg

    http://arizona.sierraclub.org/conservation/border/SmugglersBPAccessRoad2Dec7-sm.jpg

    http://www.latimes.com/media/graphic/2009-01/44338259.gif

  36. Mackeyser Says:

    Now listen here, people of the Ginandtacos blogcommentosphere. I had two other people referring to Republican voters as Juggalos, which, if you knew anything about the Insane Clown Posse (the actual Rap group, not the euphemism of the gaggle of Republicans running for President), then you'd know their fans were known as Juggalos and based on the comparison of Republican voters to Juggalos, well, that THAT was pure gold.

    We just need a few more for it to stick, I think.

    Hell, I think if we get to 10, we should have to force a vote on a chance from "Vote GOP" to "Vote Juggalo". Considering the formidable lineup the Republican lineup has put into its Insane Clown Posse, I'm only worried that the Juggalo fanbase will swell out of control. Juggalos on riding mowers in tweed pants and clown makeup screaming for JUSTICE!!!

  37. Xynzee Says:

    @John: what? Cain doesn't have enough 9s in his policy for you?

    @Mac: I hate you! Darn well nearly laughed wine thru my nose w that imagery.

  38. pjcamp Says:

    All is not lost!

    If you put a third fence across the top of the previously existing fences, you will have a Border Dog Run.

    At least, you will until the Beagles show up: