SHOW US ZE PAPERS

Alabama's new toughest-in-the-land immigration law, modeled after but more demanding than the highly publicized law in Arizona, is a comedian's dream. The idea that there is a big problem with people trying to get INTO Alabama is always good for a few laughs. Nonetheless the law has real world consequences, some of which were unintended.

Back during my high school years, circa 1994-95, Alabama made headlines by literally greasing up its own cornhole, bending over, and grabbing its ankles for Mercedes-Benz when the German automaker decided to open its first U.S. factory. No tax break was too lavish and no assurance of a docile, authority-worshipping workforce was too strong for the political and economic leaders of a state whose primary industries are teen pregnancy and Rickets. It worked, much to the dismay of other states, initiating the now common practice of wooing potential employers with buckets of money and other special favors. That tangent aside, M-B is now one of Alabama's most important employers, if not the most.

So imagine the hilarity that ensued when the new law resulted in the arrest and detention of a white collar M-B manager, a German legal resident driving without his passport or German drivers license. Governor Robert Bentley, who signed the bill into law, apparently started making phone calls to state immigration officials when he heard about the arrest (which I'm sure the Governor does in every case, seeing as how our justice system treats everyone equally). The man was released when his German license and passport were brought to the jail, but you can bet that Gov. Bentley and the State Leguslature will be ordering extra lip balm and mints for some enthusiastic ass kissing and pole smoking of the M-B higher ups in the near future.

Hilariously, due to such "unintended consequences" the Governor is considering some, ahem, revisions to the law. The nation – nay, the world – waits breathlessly to see how they will try to re-word the law so that wealthy, white collar German executives are spared further embarrassment. Knowing Alabama's track record, my guess is that words like "greasy" and "brown" will be added to the law to ensure its effectiveness against the targeted population without causing any collateral damage among the mighty Job Creator class.

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52 Responses to “SHOW US ZE PAPERS”

  1. Xynzee Says:

    Coming back to topic,
    @Basilisc: how much did they grease up you ask? Take a look at the history of how they once proudly flew the stars n bars a top their capitol building. Flew from the 1860s until 1993… which coincides nicely with MB setting up shop and appears to have been an unspoken condition of their doing so.

    As I said earlier, ain't the unfettered power of "the market" grand?

  2. Aracema Says:

    incredibly good.http://www.oiemail.org