ELECTION 2012: PLEASE GOD JUST MAKE IT STOP

This post will be updated throughout the evening as the election unfolds. Use the comments to discuss and share. All times are Central Time.

5:43 PM – 1% of the vote is in from rural Kentucky and it looks like a Romney landslide. Obama's finished.

7:00 PM – Obama has an early lead in Florida of over 100,000 and he's been holding it steady for about 45 minutes. If he wins Florida, you can go to bed.

7:56 PM – I truly appreciate the thought, but maybe don't host an election party if you have neither cable nor internet.

8:06 PM – Well the fantasy about Michigan being close was short-lived.

8:12 PM – Looks like this might actually come down to Ohio, where Obama appears to be performing quite well.

8:23 PM – Republican House, Democratic Senate, and possibly Obama being re-elected. A $7 billion election that changes absolutely nothing. Awesome.

9:27 PM – We're just in a great big holding pattern here. If I was conspiracy minded I would suspect that the networks are doing what they can to drag this out.

9:36 PM – NH is the first of the four key swing states with a declared winner. Romney's window is starting to shrink.

9:51 PM – Romney's margin of error continues to shrink. Florida might end up being so close that we have a meaningful recount. But in Ohio, Obama is in the catbird's seat.

10:07 PM – With Wisconsin called and Florida's uncounted votes in Dade and Broward, Romney's done. Look at the crowd at Romney HQ. Looks like a morgue. They know.

10:13 PM – Everyone turn to Fox News! Don't miss Brit Hume committing hara-kiri.

10:16 PM – This is over. Florida will recount and it won't matter.

10:25 PM – FOX News pundits now outlining series of compromises winner of second straight election must make to Republicans.

10:39 PM – This post-election commentary on CNN is fucking mind-numbing. MOVE TO CENTER! MOVE TO CENTER! GERGEN SMASH!

Be Sociable, Share!

116 Responses to “ELECTION 2012: PLEASE GOD JUST MAKE IT STOP”

  1. bb in GA Says:

    @mel

    I don't know if the first half of your post details about Mr Romney can be verified at this point, but I have been saying here for the last 18 months that President O was going to win for a lot of the reasons you posted in the second part of your contribution.

    The future is Pink (people here got upset when I said 'Red") We will be Frangertaly before my natural time is up (I'm 66)

    //bb

  2. Major Kong Says:

    Better Frangertaly than Haitisomalia…

  3. Steve from Canada Says:

    @bb

    Don't tease!

    Actually, why don't you nice American folk just try being Canada for a while and let us catch up with Frangertaly/Europe?

    Then y'all can pretend that being slightly less progressive than 2000-style Canada is the only just system ordained by God and natural law and stubbornly refuse to join the rest of the English-speaking world for a few more decades. :-)

  4. Steve from Canada Says:

    Sorry, by "English-speaking," I meant something like "Westernish and mostly whitish-looking."

    Crap, what a giveaway! Could I substitute "Western world" without looking like a buffoon, or has that ship sailed?

  5. Elle Says:

    We will be Frangertaly before my natural time is up

    Entirely up to you (kind of) how you wish your country to be governed, but I suppose those of us who've spent a little time in France, Germany, Italy, and the US might wonder which part of universal education, employment rights, universal healthcare, and delicious sausage Americans would find so distressing?

  6. Elle Says:

    Could I substitute "Western world" without looking like a buffoon, or has that ship sailed?

    I'm led to believe that the French will caucus on this matter after they've returned from their three-hour lunch.

  7. bb in GA Says:

    @elle

    The good things you mentioned are wonderful but tempered by the fact that the economic wheels seem to be coming off that approach a little faster than over here w/ the nose of the plane currently gobbling turf near Athens (not Georgia.)

    //bb

  8. Elle Says:

    @bb

    The travails of Greece, and of other Eurozone countries trembling on the brink of coming out of the Euro, don't have anything to do with healthcare, education, employment rights, or sausage.

    The BBC has produced a very handy summary of the causes of the Euro crisis, if you're interested.

  9. Major Kong Says:

    Austerity measures are just pulling them into a death spiral.

    I think the metaphor I've heard is trying to cure a head-cold via decapitation.
    Sure, it'll cure the cold alright but probably not the best way to do it.

  10. JazzBumpa Says:

    Mel has written a semi-coherent, semi-intelligent post.

    Congrats, man!

    Delete the first and last sentences, and you might actually have something.

    JzB

  11. Major Kong Says:

    @Elle

    The French, for all their problems, actually have a very highly productive work force. Their output per worker is well within the top 10 and possibly top 5 countries in the world.

    Norway puts us all to shame but the French really don't sit around drinking wine and eating cheese all day long.

  12. Elle Says:

    In other news, Major Kong, the French are also not convening a meeting to discuss the fact that Steve from Canada misspoke.

  13. Major Kong Says:

    Sorry Elle.

    (Picks up sarcasm detector, shakes it, I'm sure I changed the batteries in this thing)

  14. Elle Says:

    Pas de problème, Major Kong. I'm sure we're all thrown off our game today by staying up late filling our boots with schadenfreude.

  15. purpleplatypus Says:

    "My greatest fear is that the Repubs will wake up and run somebody intelligent, sane and likable like Jon Huntsman, but I guess there's little danger of that."

    What's so terrible about that possibility? If we see a sane Republican party in the next decade or so, personally my response would be "Mission. Fucking. Accomplished.".

  16. Bernard Says:

    we haven't had a sane Republican since Bob Michels was in the house, the 70's. we can dream though. too bad the lies about Europe and evrything have permeated America. so much hatred of the other, so much perversion for control and money.

    and it would be so much cheaper than robbing Peter to pay Paul. which Richard still has to pay for. lol.

    this whole "us vs them" bs has worked so well so long . i sure hope the Republicans fall apart or stay as fragmented as they are now. their hate united to destroy lots of American dreams. their fate works so well. we shall see if they want to be Talibans still. the Latinos and Blacks won't buy their "stuff" if this election was any clue. or will they continue to say, Romeny failed conservatism, rather than admit conservatism united Blacks, whites, latinos, women, gays, etc against their FEAR.

    time will tell. i doubt their fears will subside. we will see. at least there is some hopethe Republican coaltion is dying off. and maybe there is a future for Amnericans who aren't just straight white rich males.

    i sure hope so.