As a seven year old living near Chicago in 1985, it's safe to say that I saw the crude video for the Chicago Bears "Super Bowl Shuffle" song about a thousand times and heard the song even more. Though I hated the Bears even at that tender young age, there was something so ridiculous, so lovable, and so ballsy about that '85 Bears championship team that made it very difficult to resist the urge to like them (check out Grantland's excellent where-are-they-now style retrospective on the song and the team, "An Oral History of the Super Bowl Shuffle"). Is there anyone from the Chicago area currently between the ages of 35 and 50 who does not know every word to this song? And could this be any more Eighties?

To this day, when a certain colleague answers his office phone with "This is Steve," I immediately follow up with "and it's no wonder. I run like lightning, pass like thunder." I'm not alone.

The next year, the Los Angeles (now St. Louis) Rams proved that imitation is the sincerest form of…really bad ideas. Very few people remember this – you'll see why in a moment – but the Rams created their own music video for what they thought would be their run at Super Bowl glory during the 1986 season. It was called, I shit you not, "Ram It!" If that isn't sufficiently disturbing, the video features the players making a coordinated, aggressive fisting motion each time they repeat the chorus line of, "Weeeee're gonna RAM IT!"

How did that get made? I imagine that it took place in some kind of 1980s L.A. cocaine-fueled haze in which no one was really in charge and somehow atrocities ended up happening – kind of the Football Music Video equivalent of the Do Lung Bridge scene in Apocalypse Now.

Concerned bystander: "Who's in charge here?"
Eric Dickerson: "Ain't you?"

No, Eric. Things like this only happen when the chain of command has broken down completely.



    "The 'Super Bowl Shuffle' is great and all, but you know what's wrong with it? Not nearly gay enough."

  • Holy shit. I never realized Super Bowl Shuffle was seven minutes long. I lasted two minutes before the Punky QB could do the least Punk thing ever.

    /hoping for a meteor to win this game

  • c u n d gulag says:

    Yeah, there was no place you could go, to avoid that stupid "Shuffle" song, or video.
    It made it hard to root for that team, if you weren't a die-hard "Da Bears!" fan.
    Thank the FSM, that they didn't win a 2nd year in a row, or else we might have been subjected to, "The Buper Bowl Heavy Metal Bears – Hair's to the Future!" – with the whole team sporting long wigs, and playing "air guitar."

  • It was easy to cheer for da berz — they were playing New England.

    Betweenthe Minuteman hiking a football and the old Tampa Bay swishy Buccaneer, they had the gayest pair of logos football has ever seen — even a top and bottom pair.

  • Hey, that Rams song is skin-crawling, but they rap circles (is that a thing?) around the Bears, half of whom can't even talk.

    I also never knew until I read the Grantland piece that they recorded the Super Bowl Shuffle the morning after their one loss of the season. That's cool.

  • On the one hand, the completely not-macho vibe in both videos is slightly heartwarming. Seriously. Some image-manager agent would surely block that, now. I'm not suggesting we need to go back to the '70s and Free-to-be-you-and-me, but letting kids know it's ok to be a goofball seems like a good thing.

    On the other hand Jim McMahon can't remember his name, anymore, and he's not much older than me.

  • Yeah, there is something oddly charming about the superbowl shuffle. The fact that they made it clear in the opening lines that they were doing it for charity and that they were one of the most dominant teams in football history got them a well deserved pass, despite it being worst song ever to make millions of dollars (and, yes, worse even than the runner up, We Built This City).

  • Man oh man, yes. I was in fifth grade that year, and that got played every day at lunch and during whatever breaks the students could convince the teacher to do it. I couldn't have recited most of that from memory anymore, but listening to it (for the first time in probably 25 years) still touched a nerve of familiarity deep, deep in my hindbrain.

    To this day (and even before watching that video), if you asked me to name famous football players, or any football players, or for that matter any pro or college players of any sport, I would name most of this team before getting to just about anyone else (if indeed I ever got to anyone else). I'm not really a sports person, but the Superbowl Bears team was a thing.

  • On the other hand Jim McMahon can't remember his name, anymore, and he's not much older than me.

    You probably haven't had your head smacked around nearly as much as he did.

    I don't remember this at all. I am not a football fan and was only exposed to it when growing up because my parents liked it. Once I left the house, though, I ignored football completely. Still do. I go to Super Bowl parties for the chips and commercials.

  • I was 22 year old, College junior, living on the North Side of Chicago that year. I was born the on the day that the Bears won the World Championship in 1963(pre-Super Bowl).

    I had waited for that Bears team, literally, my entire life. It rocked.

  • One of the science teachers in my high school concocted a parody song called "The Super Mole Shuffle". She created new lyrics and everything. It was required learning if you were in her Chemistry class. :)

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