When I was five, I wanted to have my 6th birthday party at Shakey's (bonus points if you're Midwestern 70s/80s enough to be down with Shakey's). The neighbor kids refused to come because they were staunch Pizza Hut partisans. I detested Pizza Hut, demonstrating what a perceptive child of impeccable taste I was. So I pouted, sat in my room alone with my MASK and GI Joe action figures, and had a birthday party for myself instead.

You may have heard that on Tuesday afternoon, having been stiffed by the Philadelphia Eagles, our president is doing the same, promising to convene military bands to play the National Anthem for…for him, I guess. The amount of weird autocrat-military imagery the nation is willing to tolerate from a white conservative continues to be tested.

Drew Magary has an excellent write up on how Trump's constant, meaningless grandstanding on the National Anthem, the flag, and other jingoist touchstones makes perfect sense in the context of an entire life and career built on constant, meaningless grandstanding.

20 thoughts on “PARTY FOR ONE”

  • "having been stiffed by the Philadelphia Eagles…" At least some outlets, including Yahoo (?), insist that it was Trump who did the disinviting. Is it one of those trademark "you can't break up with me, I'm breaking up with YOU" Trumpian moves? Anyway whoever wins the NBA playoffs has agreed to stiff the Wrecking-Ball-in-Chief, so that should clarify matters into the future.

  • I liked Shakey's in the early 70's (they had killer pepperoni), but there was a local pizzeria my Mom and I swore by for birthdays and when we were in the mood. Greatest pizza and salads in restaurant history. Unfortunately, they screwed my Mom over on her 65th birthday, the last one she had (they refused reservations), so that was the last time I ever went there.

    Donald Trump exists in his own hermetically-sealed fantasy universe, with his own GI Joe and MASK action figures, only they actually live and breathe and are called "real people". The difference is you grew out of it, and realize that childhood blue funk for what it is now. He did not, will not, and no one has ever, ever made him grow up and think of anybody else.

  • Southern California '60s to the present still has Shakey's. But my favorite birthday dining spot as a kid was a Mexican place across the street from our local Shakey's, Ted's Burritos, now long gone, sadly.

  • DocAmazing says:

    Shakey's in Oakland used to show old two-reel silent comedies, which I loved then and loved now.

  • DC area had Shakey's too…. But back in high school Pizza Hut had some sort of all-you-can-eat deal going on in-restaurant, so we went there instead.

  • Had a Shakey's here on the hinterland, glassed in kitchen in the middle so patrons could watch, picnic tables, beer drinking on one side separated from pinball and kid games on the other.

  • Dumbspear O'Sparrow says:

    Shakey's was in Oregon in the 1970s and 1980s, as well. Our friend Wikipedia says it has fallen from 500 locations in 1974 to only 51 in the US today, and 47 of those are in California.

  • I don't want to be the only one latching on to "Shakey's". (Checks…nope, we're good.)
    Since Shakey Johnson always sponsored the Sacramento Dixieland Jazz Jubilee, I always thought Shakey's was a Sacramento-based chain.

    Also, in the Philippines, there was some classic American pizza chain (and I think it was Shakey's, but it may have been Straw Hat, tbh), but instead of mozzarella, they used American cheese. Not joking. I expect 45 would think that an improvement, because, (1) It's American cheese and (2) He could eat it with his pal, Duterte.

    It's startling that he'd respond by cancelling.
    It's startling he'd want a show in his honor.
    But it's mind-boggling that, this far into the presidency and life, he still hasn't learned to either keep his mouth closed during the anthem, or to learn the words…

  • Shakey's was part of my upbringing in Central Virginia in the mid-70s. Watching the pizza being made, goofy silent films and player pianos, and one of the earliest (lame) jokes I recall: "If you think our coffee's bad, remember that you, too, may be old and weak some day".

  • Actually, Pizza Hut had BOOK IT! and the personal pan pizza was well worth having to read however many books per unit time. All's I know is I never got a free pizza from this "Shakey's" place.

  • @ Schadenboner:

    Please start an edgy band with that name!

    The Hut, PaGi's, Dominos all make edible, boring pizzas, imo. But then I haven't eaten more than a small handful of their stuff in many years.

    Little Caesars does a thing for lunch that I might grab once or twice a year. Once a year for sure as they give us crusty old vets a freebie on Veteran's Day. I think next year, I'll see if I can find a Medal of Honor vet and tell them that he deserves a pizza with fucking LOBSTER!

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