Take comfort in the fact that every time someone types out the phrases "should of (sic) complied" or "play stupid games win stupid prizes" a spirit appears like in A Christmas Carol and shows them the future where they die alone without ever having known the love of another living being.
We hear you, we see you, and we know - as you do - that you're a miserable sorta-excuse for a human being who will never know a moment's happiness let alone be tolerable to any other person. Your existence is a cancer on the world and everyone forced to encounter you, even for a moment, is worse off for it. And unlike this woman shot down in cold blood, the moment you die will pass entirely unnoticed and unremaked upon. It will be like you never existed, and you know every word I said here is true. That's why you act the way you do and talk the way you do - because at night, when you're alone, you know all of this. The only thing that never occurs to you is that everyone around you knows it about you, too. You think your act fools anyone, and that's the scariest thing to you: the possibility that people see you for the coward you are.
They do. We do. Sleep tight. ...
It takes an enormous amount of courage to stand there, keep filming, and scream "What the fuck, you asshole" at someone wearing a badge who just shot and killed one of your neighbors in cold blood.
If you're grasping for anything to feel good about right now - and that's a very difficult thing to find - feel good about the fact that not everyone is as much of a spineless, collaborating coward as our elites. Total strangers will risk their lives to stand next to you. ...
OliverWendellHolmslice says:
Please also include a statement blaming every problem in America on Godless liberal homosexuals
Samantha says:
I wasn't sure how else to get this to you, but I knew you would want to know ASAP: ShamWow guy was arrested recently "…on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room…"
Enjoy.
Samantha says:
aaand the link: http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2009/03/breaking-shamwow-guy-allegedly-slap.html
Anonymousaurus says:
Samantha, do you think you could link to a less misogynistic site next time? Kthanx.
J. Dryden says:
On-point for a sec: this type of up-front requirement is slipping into more and more job listings, I've noticed–and the sad thing is, the market is so bad, I suspect a number of people will fake their way through this affirmation in order to find someplace, anyplace, that will get them out of the world of Lecturer-dom. (Otherwise known as "Hell.") Lord knows (pun intended), I thought about it. Three year of (involuntary) Bible study, I can talk-the-talk, and I really needed a job…Anyway, consider it a sign of the Regent-Universitification of the academic world, where the next generation of Monica Goodlings will come from.