NPF: SECRET RECIPE

I understand the inherent appeal of things like Food Network's behind-the-scenes shows or Anthony Bourdain's best-selling Kitchen Confidential. Restaurant food is a black box for the average diner. We sit down and place an order. A server disappears behind the proverbial curtain with our request and returns 20 minutes later with food prepared with skills greater than our own. We want to know what goes on behind the closed kitchen doors. Most of all, we want to know Why I Can't Make ______ Taste Like This At Home. What is the restaurant industry secret? How do they convince us to pay for things we could theoretically make for ourselves? Hmm.

Recently some prominent food writers were in a huff over a positive review NPR's Kelly Alexander gave to The Cheesecake Factory – exactly the kind of generic, megalithic outlet of processed, pre-cooked slop that Serious Food People love to hate. Heresy! Alexander might as well have written a praise piece on Hamburger Helper for Bon Apetit. But acid-tongued Michael Ruhlman accepted a bet from Alexander to try the restaurant with an open mind. He admitted that his meal involving several Cheesecake Factory entrees was in fact quite tasty.

The point is not that food snobs should be more accepting of gargantuan chain operations with a loyal clientele of tourists, business travelers, and rubes. The point is that there is absolutely no reason food from The Cheesecake Factory shouldn't taste good. Ezra Klein pointed out the painfully obvious – the food is disgustingly unhealthy. It's loaded to the gunwales with the things humans are genetically hard wired to binge eat: salt, fat, dairy, sugar, and lots of other things that fuel our obesity epidemic.

online pharmacy neurontin no prescription

It's not hard to make something tasty after it has been battered in starch, deep fried crispy, salted like mad, and served in a dairy-heavy sauce or gravy to the tune of 3000 calories. It won't make you feel good, but it's goddamn well going to taste good. It has been engineered – often quite literally in a laboratory – to taste good. And it's not hard to make good cheesecake at 1000 calories per slice.

Not all restaurants embrace The Cheesecake Factory's strategy of an overwhelming menu and Flintstones-sized portions. But living with a cooking professional has blown the lid off of the big restaurant secret for me: they just put way more salt, heavy cream, and butter in everything than you would do at home. Yes, cooking skill adds something to the finished product as well. The biggest reason you can't make it taste like that at home, though, is that you have restraint. Restaurant professionals get over that quickly. When you are baking something at home, there comes a point at which you say "OK, I'm not putting any more butter in this.

online pharmacy zoloft no prescription

" You start picturing yourself getting fat or having a heart attack and you pull back. If you work in a restaurant, you are putting more butter in that motherfucker. When you make pasta sauce or a basic soup at home it would never cross your mind to dump in a quart of heavy cream. In a restaurant that is likely the first and last step in cooking either. Watching your calories at home? Good, because nobody cooking in restaurants is watching them. Their goal is simple. They want to make you a return customer by serving mysteriously tasty food that you just can't seem to replicate in your kitchen.
buy zovirax online blackmenheal.org/wp-content/languages/new/zovirax.html no prescription

I'm not making a value judgment here. It isn't good or bad. It just is. Frankly I feel like unhealthy food is the best vice and far less damaging than tobacco, alcohol, drugs, or watching Glee. I see no point in approaching it with any air of mystery, though. It tastes so good because people in restaurants are better cooks, use better ingredients…and make sure that everything on your plate is liberally jacked with all the delicious things that are antithetical to your waistline and cardiovascular health.

NPF: FRIEDMANESQUE

Forgive me for going all Thomas Friedman – "Here's this thing I noticed from this person I talked to, and here are some broad generalizations about mankind based thereupon!

" – but the longer I teach the more this nags at me.

College-aged people today are on the internet about 18 hours per day. They go nowhere without a suite of disposable Chinese-made electronic devices, almost all of it devoted to listening to their horrendous AutoTuned "music" or browsing the internet. As a teacher this is problematic inasmuch as at any given moment 75% of the class have their laptops open and are diligently staring at Facebook. Another 15% are furiously texting away with their iPhones and Blackberii in their laps.

The remaining 10% are either sleeping or, for want of other ways to occupy themselves, paying attention.

This can be irritating, especially when students choose to sit front and center in the classroom and pound away at their cellphone at point blank range.

When I am trying to be optimistic, however, I consider that this should be producing generations of young people with good basic tech skills. They should be computer literate given that they are using one almost constantly. They should understand how to find things online given that they are online constantly. The constant reading and sending of email and other forms of communicating on the web should, theoretically, provide some incremental benefit to their writing abilities.

If any of you work in tech support, I bet you know where I am going with this.

These kids, unbelievably, are more technologically inept than my 60 year old colleagues whose first experience with computer data processing involved punched cards. Contrary to all logic and my minimal expectations, their near-continuous computer usage has had no effect on them.

None. Many of them are absolutely fucking baffled by the concept of correctly attaching something to an email. Perhaps 1% of them understand how to take a Word document and make it into a PDF. Most of them have never used basic software like Excel or PowerPoint that comes pre-installed on their package-deal laptops. Installing a program is as comprehensible as open heart surgery. I recently overheard students talking about upgrading to Windows 7 and one asked earnestly if she needed to send her laptop back to the factory to have it done.

All that time on the internet must be helping though, right? Unbelievably about half of the students I encounter (and this is a pretty decent school, mind you) have not the faintest idea how to find something on the internet. I assign research papers in every class, and in the course of that assignment I am bombarded with emails to the effect of "I am having trouble findin sources for my paper on executive orders. do you have any suggestions?" As calmly as possible I am required to reply suggesting they enter "Executive Orders" into Google and, if they're feeling really punchy, visit the online library catalog and do the same. They ask me where they can find copies of the Constitution since the full document is not in any of our textbooks; again I have to point out that putting "Constitution" into a search engine produces quite literally hundreds of results, all of which will provide the mysterious information they seek.

In short, this constant exposure to the best consumer technology on the market today has had two effects: they know how to open Facebook and they know how to text message their friends in gibberish, in some bastardized version of the English language that has been lured into a windowless van and fingered. They have learned nothing else. My attempt to find a silver lining on the fact that they are forever glued to computers has failed. I suppose, given that high schools do not send students to college with basic math and writing skills, that it is silly to expect that they would arrive with basic computer skills. The only thing sillier is expecting that they might acquire any on their own.

NPF: 31

I am now 31 years old. Feast on my Livejournal-style musings.

Thirty-one years is a long time; I am no longer a young person by any stretch of the imagination. Birthdays prompt an annual life review, and the results are not pretty. It is shocking how little I've accomplished with 31 years (namely nothing).
buy levaquin online redemperorcbd.com/wp-content/languages/new/prescription/levaquin.html no prescription

And I think the key to maintaining sanity into adulthood is being able to understand and accept that your life is not what you hoped it would be when you were younger.

In the meaningless standardized test sense of intelligence I suppose I am not dumb, and possibly even a little bright. Add to that the fact that I tend to be a hard worker and I always expected that I might accomplish something. That brainpower and determination equal success (and the former, frankly, is optional) is deeply ingrained in American culture. Alas, there is more to it than that. It also takes talent, and having talent is like having a right arm. Either you have it or you don't. There's not really a gray area.

buy desyrel online www.victus.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/png/desyrel.html no prescription pharmacy

Try as we might – and I spend a lot of mental energy on it these days – there's no way to circumvent that requirement.

The reason I'm a 31 year old academic temp is not that I'm dumb or lazy. It is because the job listings don't say "We want someone smart" or "We're looking for a hard worker." They want someone who is good at political science. That I am not. I can work harder and get better, but there is a fundamental limit to what I can accomplish. Loving and working hard at being an academic won't make me a good one any more than loving and working hard at basketball would make me an NBA player.

I think this blog is essentially the same story.

buy azithromycin online www.victus.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/png/azithromycin.html no prescription pharmacy

I've been plugging away at this thing for six years.

buy spiriva online www.victus.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/png/spiriva.html no prescription pharmacy

Six years! A thousand words per night, five nights per week, for six years. But aside from attracting some wonderful readers who I deeply appreciate, it hasn't really amounted to anything. Nobody higher up the food chain the world of political blogging knows this thing exists. The offers to take my non-talents to a more prominent forum have not exactly overwhelmed me. Yet such a thing happening was not beyond the realm of possibility, given the evidence from a natural experiment.

Some of you may recall that this used to be a two-man blog. The other guy (You remember, right? I don't think he wants his name appearing in such low-brow discourse anymore) decided to branch out. His blog basically did squat for a couple years because he wasn't taking it seriously. When he decided to put some effort into it and post regularly, six months later he's rubbing shoulders with people in the White House and writing for the Atlantic, not to mention getting exposed all over the interwebs. Why? It certainly isn't luck. And it is not necessarily that he is more diligent or intelligent, although it may very well be the case that he is both of those things. No, the difference is that he has real talent. He's good at this.

Why I have devoted the last six years of my life to two things for which I have no aptitude – academia and political commentary – is not entirely clear through the sharp lens of hindsight. "Do what you love" is common enough and valid enough advice, but I guess I have hit the point in my life at which that isn't enough. It would be nice to actually accomplish something rather than waking up every morning and doing these things solely for my own edification. Maybe in five or ten years I will evolve into a new life stage in which doing things for our own happiness is enough. Fingers crossed.

Until then, there is little else to do except keep plugging away in an effort to reach the goals I chose without considering the poor odds that I could attain them. Thanks for reading. I mean that in both the macro sense – i.
buy clomiphene online redemperorcbd.com/wp-content/languages/new/prescription/clomiphene.html no prescription

e., thanks for reading all along – and in the micro sense of having been patient enough to slog through a Dear Diary post. Back to our regularly scheduled programming on Monday. Why? Because if doing what I enjoy and putting my best effort into it is the most I can accomplish in this world, that's what I'm going to do. Even if the bar is a low one I suppose there is something to be said for clearing it rather than walking away.

I don't think I like birthdays anymore.

Regards,
31 year-old Ed

NPF: ENDGAME

I am convinced that when this reaches 1,000,000 views our world is going to come to an end:

Then again, I may be overstating things given how long humanity has managed to stagger along with the heavy weight of Brokencyde chained to its collective neck:

It's so hard to pick a single favorite part from that video, but my money might be on the guy lip syncing the screaming parts right into that girl's face.

When that gets 2.5 million views it is safe to say that we are in trouble as a species.

NPF: NO, YOU NEED THE 7th EDITION

I am not exactly an old salt in the world of college teaching, but a scant half-decade has been more than enough to convince me that the textbook industry is in mortal combat with Three Card Monte dealers for the coveted title of the America's Biggest Scam. One often develops misconceptions about things when viewing them from afar but finds them quite different with first hand experience. Such is not the case here. It really is as much of a ripoff as you think it is.

My adviser co-authors a highly regarded textbook on political parties and she likes to tell me how when the project began a new edition was demanded every four years. By the late 1990s the updates became biannual. Now, as you might imagine, annual updates are on the agenda. What can one meaningfully update about a political parties textbook annually?
https://landmarkfamilydental.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/jpg/cymbalta.html

Lots, as long as the term "meaningfully" can be disregarded. Otherwise not so much. Believe it or not, questions like "What is the role of political parties in our system?" and "Why is the American system dominated by two parties?" do not have new answers. So what does an annual or biannual update look like? Well, you change the anecdotes used as examples. Do a ctrl-f search to replace "Kerry" with "Obama." Add new pictures. Shoehorn in some dumbass sidebar about Jon Stewart (you know, really connect with the young'ns!) And of course, if nothing else, design a new cover.

You already knew this, of course, but the robustness of the second-hand textbook market (thanks, internet!) has increased pressure from publishers to obsolete each book as quickly as possible. But wait! There's more.

I have a valuable resource even though I am a nobody in this profession. We low men on the totem pole are the ones who teach the 350-student Intro to American Government courses, often required of all undergraduates. Intro textbooks are 80% of the textbook market in any field, and political science is no different. And at $95 a pop for new hardcovers the competition is intense. So are the textbook reps (salespeople, in essence).
buy strattera online buy strattera no prescription

Publishers offer kickbacks – uh, "royalties" – to departments in exchange for adopting Intro texts, sometimes as much as $10 per copy. This never really affects the students, given that every one of the dozens of Intro books are exactly the same; how many ways can an interest group be explained? How many variations of the theme "Politics matters!" can they concoct? Fortunately my department(s) have not required me to adopt specific books. Which simply leaves the door open for the authors to lobby me.

Yes, the royalties on hardcover textbooks can be significant. $5/copy is not unheard of. That means that my 280 student Intro class is worth close to $1500 to an author. And in my graduate program, two of the five American politics professors wrote Intro textbooks. Thankfully their suggestions about adopting their books were gentle and non-binding. Nonetheless academia is full of people who are comfortable putting pressure on their graduate students and colleagues to adopt texts. More importantly, from my perspective it is nice to have one small piece of power, one decision I can make that constitutes a favor to people who are much higher up the ladder than me. "Hey, I adopted your book for my Intro class" is just about the only thing we who are the bottom of the barrel can say that translates to "This is a favor. Please return it at some point in the future.
https://landmarkfamilydental.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/jpg/lipitor.html

"

Don't even get me started on "online portals." The less I say about that the better.
buy priligy online buy priligy no prescription

I understand that publishers need to make a buck and from my perspective I should be excited about potentially getting on this gravy train at some point in the future. I don't know why I can't shift my mindset from "Hey, this is a fucking crock" to "Woo hoo! Kickbacks!" If it ever happens I'll let you know.

NPF: AESTHETICS

I'm on record as being very emphatically anti-"retro." I've had more than enough of intellectual stagnation and lack of creativity disguised as kitsch and worship of the past. On one subject I diverge significantly from this position – sports. No one in any sport from golf to bowling to soccer to baseball has better uniforms today than 50 years ago. No one. "Modern" uniforms all reek of the 1990s fad of swooshes and fake abstract designs. For the 50th anniversary of the old American Football League, throwback uniforms are out in force this year. So tell me, is there anyone on the planet who thinks this…

…looks better than this?

I mean, come on. Do I need to go on and compare the old Patriots or Buccaneers uniforms (long live the Creamscicle) to their new crap? Or the Chargers' powder blues? Of course I don't. Being people of discriminating taste you already know.

CELEBRITIES: STILL RETARDED

We don't anoint celebrities as a society based on their brainpower. They are famous because of way they look, sing, act, throw baseballs, or whatever esoteric and impractical skill they happen to have.

buy celexa online hamiltonbehavioral.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/png/celexa.html no prescription pharmacy

This is why it tends to hurt so much to listen to them talk. Whether we're listening to Chuck Norris' brilliant musings on the nature of democracy, Charlie Sheen's incisive viewpoint on the demolition of the World Trade Center, Tom Cruise's copiously researched ideas about antidepressants, or Jenny McCarthy's groundbreaking work on vaccines that cause autism, there is a good reason that most of the public wants to punch them in the face when they break the fourth wall and enlighten us with their deepest thoughts. We may willingly shell out big bucks for tickets to their shows and movies, but we'd pay even more to avoid having to listen to them talk out of character.

So, yeah. The "Free Roman Polanski" petition.

I have nothing to add to this on the most basic level. To reiterate, this guy plied a 13 year old girl with prescription drugs and whiskey, fucked her, stopped to ask if she was on the pill (at 13), and then put it in her ass. Just so we're all clear on that.

buy advair online hamiltonbehavioral.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/png/advair.html no prescription pharmacy

We all have heard him say the following after admitting that he knew she was 13:

If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls.

Stay classy, Roman.

I have absolutely no use for cultural guardians – the kind who put warning stickers on CDs, rail endlessly about movie violence, and blame mass shootings on Marilyn Manson – and the tired right wing tactic of campaigning in the sticks by condemning Hollywood as the epicenter of our societal collapse is pure rube-baiting. It takes an awful lot to make me sympathetic to any such arguments. But for the individuals who decided that it would be a good idea to sign a petition to "free Polanski" – free him, like he's Nelson Mandela or some prisoner of conscience – could not possibly be more out of touch with whatever passes for the average American these days. I want to punch myself just for using the phrase "out of touch with…the average American" but I can't think of a more accurate way to state the sentiment. We lack experiential evidence that celebrities live on another planet (unless you happen to be a celebrity, of course.

Are you? Don't famous people have more important people to read than me?) but this fiasco provides the next best thing in circumstantial evidence. These people really don't see anything, well, disgusting about publicly supporting a guy who was just arrested for banging a kid. Note that we're not talking about a private phone call to support their old friend Roman; no, they're speaking out publicly against this heinous miscarriage of justice.

I honestly can't figure out which is stronger evidence of their lack of judgment: that they personally support a child rapist or that they thought it would be a good idea to go on camera and talk about it. There's regular stupid, which we assume all celebrities to be, and there's ridiculous, cartoonish over-the-top obliviousness to the world around them. Doesn't their money buy them agents, publicists, lawyers, and other self-interested parties who are compensated well to stand guard between those two points?

NPF: WHO WILL TELL THE CHILDREN?

I don't feel particularly old. I may have hit 30 recently, but I act a good decade younger. I feel old only twice annually: when I receive my class rosters and see the birthdates of my students. The late 1980s dates were bad enough, but now they are mostly 1990. These people are adults. They can vote. They can join the Army. They can buy porn. One of the challenges inherent in teaching about politics or history is that one must convey to students meaningful context for events that happened before they were born. In my line of work the biggest problem – and one that will only get worse with time, of course – is realizing that these kids have absolutely no concept of the Cold War or the Soviet Union. The Berlin Wall fell two or three years before they were born. It is troubling enough that they do not understand Communism, but this generation has lost touch with the concept of the Commie.

I'm talking about the good old fashioned Hollywood Commie and the Red Herring Commie referenced in political campaigns. They were featured so prominently in our culture for so long and now they are, for all intents and purposes, gone. When was the last time the kids these days (If you ever want to feel old, use the phrase "the kids these days") saw a good movie about fighting Commies? When was the last time we had a (serious, non-Teabagging) conversation about how the hardened Soviets live? It is all foreign to today's college student. They know Yakov Smirnoff isn't funny, but they don't really understand why he's not funny.

Today's movies and television are missing something. They are missing the vodka- and borscht-swilling, square jawed, tough-as-nails caricature Commie with hilariously overdone accent, a comical lack of familiarity with Western culture, and a single-minded obsession with destroying imperialist capitalist aggressors. Our discomfort with all things race related makes terrorists a poor substitute. And besides, what's funny about terrorism? Nothing. But even when our political and social elites were telling us that the Commies were hellbent on killing every last one of us there was something funny about them. They were like Charlie Brown lining up to kick the football; we felt a little sympathy because we knew he was only there to miss it. And rhetoric aside, you just knew that Ivan was too backward (or drunk) to succeed in his Commie goals of world domination. He was the villain, the comic relief, and the sympathetic character rolled into one.

That is why the Commie is disappearing. In the final verdict the Soviet Union turned out to be hapless, verging on pathetic. They lacked the bone-chilling kind of evil that would have made them suitable Villains in Perpetuity, a la the Nazis. I think we are worse for it as a society. Batman needed the Joker like we needed the Commies. Sure, Batman fought many other villains…but it just wasn't the same.

NPF: RATIONAL CHOICE FAIL

Upon moving to Georgia my eldest rat developed some wheezing and shortness of breath. Respiratory problems are common in the species, especially in their golden years. Fortunately my current institution happens to have one of the nation's premier small animal veterinary programs complete with an impressive small animal teaching hospital staffed by Ph.D.s, veterinarians, and students. They actually have a rat cardiologist on staff. A rat cardiologist. To shorten the story, Bear received outstanding care (including rat x-rays!). The staff identified his enlarged right ventricle, treated it appropriately, and returned him to his bright-eyed and bushy ring-tailed state.

It cost $400.

This brought me to two moral dilemmas that every responsible and socially conscious pet owner deals with at some point. First, from a rational choice perspective it makes no sense to provide that level of treatment to a rat. Why spend $400 on a rat when one can stroll into a pet store and get a new one for $8? Second, how does one justify this kind of expense to give a rat better medical care than many people on this planet receive? Wouldn't $400 be better spent on a person who needs to see a doctor?

On the first point, only an economist (or their jug-band cousin, the MBA student) would apply such logic to a pet. Yes, it is "just a pet." Regardless they are not interchangeable. One does not simply toss a companion animal in the trash and replace it any more than having another child can replace a deceased one. The second point troubles me considerably more. I feel some guilt when I see a team of three people x-raying a rat and projecting the image onto a 60" plasma monitor so I can see Bear's aorta. Could such resources be re-directed to people in need? Yes. Could my $400 help a person who would not otherwise see a doctor do so? Yes. But to me it is a matter of principle rather than a practical one. When we purchase a pet we accept responsibility for its well-being. This does not stop at feeding it and giving it the occasional heartworm pill. And whether I have an $8 rat, a dog, an endangered Namibian antelope, or a child of my own, any living thing for which I am responsible is going to receive whatever level of medical care I have the means to obtain when necessary.

It's hard to justify the fact that this little guy goes to a better hospital than half of the Earth's population. Letting him die wouldn't change that, though. Besides, your parents were right when they lectured you about getting your first goldfish: being responsible for something's well-being is a big commitment, not one we can opt out of when the price goes up. We do what we do for our pets because we are not characters from an economics textbook. We do it because we love them and because it is the right thing to do.

AMERICA'S WORST IDEA

At some point in the last six months virtually every person who knows me even half-decently has mentioned that I'd be interested to know that Ken Burns' new documentary series is about the National Park Service. Indeed I am quite excited to see The National Parks: America's Best Idea. Having visited over 150 units of the National Park system (and with ready access to all things southern, I plan to work on that in the near future) I can guarantee that I'll watch every minute of the series. I am not alone in my enthusiasm – the critical anticipation and initial reviews border on fawning. Let's briefly overlook the fact that for every hit like The Civil War or Mark Twain Burns has pinched off at least as many turds (Baseball, Jazz, Lewis & Clark). This is no time to get cynical. I choose to think good thoughts about it.

That said, I'm worried. The normal person buried inside of me thinks, "Wow, this speaks directly to my interests!" The rest of me thinks, "Great, how many more assholes in SUVs is this going to bring?"

It's not a secret among people who enjoy the outdoors that several of the most well-known natural attractions in this country are very difficult to visit. Yellowstone is essentially unvisitable during warm weather. Visitors to Great Smoky Mountains or Shenandoah in any season except winter end up sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic for a couple hours. Yosemite is grossly overdeveloped, with Bay Area day-trippers apparently requiring a full-sized supermarket in the valley to meet their needs. Mesa Verde and the Grand Canyon are excellent places to meet every Japanese tourist or rented RV full of unhappily vacationing Midwestern families on the planet. Glacier, despite its size and remote location, is always packed. These places attract large numbers of visitors because they are spectacular, but the throngs of suburbanites who want to experience Nature through the window of their Ford Excursion are overwhelming to people who actually want to escape.

The secret, of course, is that there are secrets. Few people know of or visit Guadalupe Mountains, Pinnacles, Chiricahua, Walnut Canyon, Bent's Old Fort, Theodore Roosevelt (North Unit, thank you very much), or Craters of the Moon. Yet these are just a handful of places that are as amazing as the big names – and better, because there's no one there most of the time. We devoted fans trade tips about lesser-known places and take pains to ensure that we do it quietly. The last thing we want, of course, is for something like a popular TV series to blab all of the system's secrets. A few Ken Burns segments about Chaco Culture or Capulin Volcano will be enough to blow their cover.

I will continue looking forward to this series, but I hope it sticks to the attractions that are already badly overcrowded and most recognizable to a typical TV viewer. Like one might bake a separate birthday cake for the kids to ruin in order to protect the real one, I get the impression that the NPS has written off the Yellowstones, Yosemites, and Smokies of the system and is looking to save the rest. The big name parks are revenue makers and attention getters. They're for the casual fan, the dilettante. They are to the outdoors what Fela Kuti is to world music. While it's not my place to judge how other people prefer to enjoy a public good, I'd be more than happy to keep the RV and diesel generator crowd focused on Yellowstone and ignorant of our hidden gems.