NPF: ENDGAME

I am convinced that when this reaches 1,000,000 views our world is going to come to an end:

Then again, I may be overstating things given how long humanity has managed to stagger along with the heavy weight of Brokencyde chained to its collective neck:

It's so hard to pick a single favorite part from that video, but my money might be on the guy lip syncing the screaming parts right into that girl's face.

When that gets 2.5 million views it is safe to say that we are in trouble as a species.

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16 Responses to “NPF: ENDGAME”

  1. J. Dryden Says:

    Goddammit, Ed, those things are in my brain now. Why not just title this post: "Dear Readers, I'm Going To Put My Evil Inside You"?

  2. Daniel Says:

    Thanks for making everybody sad. I usually enjoy NPF, but I am now on the verge of a cataclysmic depression.

  3. Desargues Says:

    Relax, Ed. It's not gonna be that bad. We just have to start learning some Mandarin. I do hope Hu Jintao's minions will find my modest abilities useful in some way, once they buy this fallen empire at the fire sale that's coming. I'm pretty good with languages. Perhaps they'll let me teach their children some Western idioms.

  4. Ike Says:

    Des-
    Too late, my brother already grabbed that job a year and a half ago.

  5. Liz Says:

    "The prerecorded backing tracks and juvenile misogyny of bands such as the New Mexico screamo-crunk act BrokenCYDE are affronts to traditionalist punk values….This (sic) 'Albucrazy'-based band has done for MySpace emo what some think Soulja Boy did for hip-hop: turn their career into a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile." – August Brown, LA Times

  6. Luke Says:

    Also, according to the video’s production company:

    "6. There was no drinking of alcohol on set. The bottle you see seven drinking from….that’s apple juice believe it or not!"

  7. cyntax Says:

    I am convinced that when this reaches 1,000,000 views our world is going to come to an end

    So you're posting those here in hopes of hastening the ragnoraktic post-punk rapture that these songs foretell? Man, you are one dark SOB. I may have to start drinking before noon now…

  8. Emily Says:

    I am deeply disturbed by your wanton disregard for the sanctity of my eardrums.

  9. waldo Says:

    The General once sent me to Pam Geller's hole where I learnt how to click out early while in the grip of an epileptic seizure so I had no trouble bailing early on these 'music' proners.

  10. jon Says:

    I found both of these… "musical-like constructions" is probably too neutral, but certainly more accurate than "songs"… to be rather interesting, actually. The singular joke of a combined restaurant and the fact that two friends are lost within that singularity isn't quite as funny as the typical episode of "Small Wonder" if measured by laughs, but it is at least as interesting a concept as the idiotic ravings of a Danny Kaye or Jerry Lewis, both of whom are considered geniuses by some persons who lived in an era of lead paint. In the second example, BrokenCYDE displays a juvenile adherence to both spelling and sexual relations in its confusion regarding women who dance with each other rather than men who grab them by the neck and scream at them. Homosexuality may or may not be a choice, but it's certainly a rational choice for women in any environment with those dolts in attendance.

  11. Natalie Says:

    I…ummm…yeah.

    I feel like the first one might be some kind of SNL Digital Short gone horribly wrong. Like an early version of "On The Ground" where Andy only ate at Taco Bell and Pizza Hut for a week or something.

  12. Rick Says:

    The first is an evil plot hatched at Yum! Brands Inc. HQ.

  13. Batocchio Says:

    Well, people enjoy looking at media train wrecks – as with this post. That doesn't mean they all approve. I think it's when those videos receive that number of 5-star *votes* you may be right.

  14. Bertok Says:

    In my (hopefully successful) bid as PR manager for BrokenCYDE, I thought that I would run some marketing slogans past the good people here at G&T:

    BrokenCYDE – Because New Mexico simply doesn't have enough problems already.

    BrokenCYDE – Because spoiled, wealthy, suburban children don't have enough ways to justify substance abuse and date rape.

    BrokenCYDE – Because isn't there enough good music in world already?

    BrokenCYDE – Because Insane Clown Posse is much too intellectually elite. Fuckin' ICP snobs…

    BrokenCYDE – "Because FUCK YOU, that's why."

    BrokenCYDE – Because when my parents aren't around, I don't wear that stupid "promise" ring.

    BrokenCYDE – Because "you know, I bet if we started some kind of over-the-top, unholy union of crunk, punk, and hip-hop cliches, we can make lots of money while simultaneously making fun of Emo-youth TO THEIR FACES and stealing their equally dense girlfriends! No, really, it'll work! They'll never notice!"

    or maybe

    BrokenCYDE – Because "dude, wouldn't it be cool if we started some kind of over-the-top, union of crunk, punk, and hip-hop! We would make tons of money, by the coolest emo heroes ever, and get all the bitchez! Yeah!"

    I figure I'll float that last one to the BrokenCYDE boys before the penultimate slogan. I wouldn't want to insult their intelligence!

    If you can think of some more, I'll happily steal them and claim that I came up with them first, so thanks in advance!

  15. Rick Says:

    I'm at the wing street . . . . I'm at the KFC . . . I'm at the combination wing street / KFC. . . . and the mother fucking Long John Silvers!!!!

    The Yum! system includes three operating segments: U.S., International (Yum! Restaurants International) and China Division (includes mainland China, Thailand and KFC Taiwan). Outside the United States in 2008, the Yum! system opened more than four new restaurants each day of the year, making us the largest retail developer in the world.

    The Chinese may want think they will buy the US at fire sale prices but we will still own their souls through their addiction to hush puppies . . . "162 ways to wing it" and the new triple meat Italiano pizza . . .

  16. Rob Says:

    Wow, I had seen the Brokencyde video before, but I thought it was some kind of joke or parody that I did not get. I did not realize they were a "serious" band that people listen to on purpose. This blows my mind.