Category: No Politics Friday

(Editor's Note: Welcome back Mike K, who brings us this week's No Politics Friday [tm])

Unlike some, I have no beef with Wikipedia. Such a source of collective information was going to happen on the Internet at some point, and the model they use strikes me as the best way to handle it. However there are two things that occur regularly on the site that get me laughing:

1) Absurd Entries. Entries that are treated as quite serious though their very existence creates a smirk on your face. There are Wikipedia entries for Cameltoe, Vaginal flatulence (Qweefs, as the kids say), Drunk Dialing, and Italian Beef. The real challenge the writers face with these pages is to make them serious enough to get past the vetting process; presenting all your sources for Cameltoes without having to stop from laughing is a feat in and of itself.

2) Geeked-Out Entries on Non-existent things. Entries that were written by people (a person?) so obsessive about their pop-culture loves that they start writing and don't know where to stop. I noticed this while looking at the Wikipedia entry for Megatron. Take a peek at that page – it is really detailed. And long. Hitting the "Print Preview" button told me that there was 27 pages (!) worth of detail on the Transformers villain. Thomas Jefferson only has 24 Pages.

This is also something that one can turn into a fun game – find an absurdly long entry on a geek staple and find another Wikipedia entry that is shorter. So the classic game for the Nintendo 64, GoldenEye (15 pages) beats out the entry for the Koran (13 pages). Pikachu (8 pages) gets a ton more space than the philosopher Jurgen Habermas (5 pages). The Predator (14 pages) has more pages than The 14th Amendment (12 Pages).

I can keep this up all day. The Lord of the Rings (20 Pages) beats out the The Dropping of the Atomic Bombs (19 pages). That episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Angelus kills Giles' librarian girlfriend Jenny Calendar (10 pages) has more written about it than Four Quartets (9 pages), as well it should. And, god bless it, The Jedi (16 pages) beats out The Moon Landing (15 pages).

No entry on Roast Beef or the Jedi

One of the great things about Wikipedia is that work filters almost never block it, and you can still look quasi-respectable searching it if your boss walks by. I encourage you all to throw your favorite examples from #1 or #2 above into the comments section this Friday afternoon.

Things are being spruced up here at ginandtacos. I've updated the blogroll and links. If you are a blogger who reads ginandtacos regularly, please email me (my contact info has also been updated, above the blogroll) or post something in the comments to this entry. I'll be happy to add you.

As for the left side content, I'm working on re-organizing all of it into monthly archives and a single category for all the non-blogging stuff. Most of that stuff is quite old and has probably long since ceased to amuse any regular readers.

Next week I'll be participating in the Blog Against Theocracy blogswarm. Keep an eye peeled for that while you're enjoying your fireworks and tubular meat products.

And since I haven't done album reviews in ages, let me try to cram five of them into one No Politics Friday ™:

It's a little late for No Politics Friday ™, but here's a great video of an even better song from the inimitable Sluts of Trust:

Today's No Politics Friday ™ is devoted to my strange, strange list of places I desperately want to visit.
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Those who know me well know that I enjoy traveling, and moreover that I enjoy traveling to places that range from "esoteric" to "borderline interesting" to "flat-out dull.
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"

On my top 10 list is a small strip of beach outside Princess Juliana airport on the island of St. Maarten, on which one can stand while 747s land no more than 20-30 feet above eye level.
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All those who have experienced it describe it as ass-rapingly loud, completely terrifying, and not to be missed.
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Where do I sign?

I'm really mailing in today's No Politics Friday ™ entry, but this goes out to the apparent infatuation with the film Predator among everyone I know. Is this some new hipster cultural kitsch icon or something?
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I must have missed that meeting.

And in case you're really hurting for Friday afternoon work entertainment, spend about an hour reading Tard Blog. If you've never seen it prior, it is essentially the greatest thing ever. If you need convincing, start with #25 or #21. It is far too unfortunate that the blog ceased to be updated more than two years ago.

I wonder how those tards are doing.

Wait, I bet they're still retarded. Well that was easy.

Today's No Politics Friday ™ entry comes from the "I hope to god I rock this much when I'm 55" category. While creaky has-beens like the Rolling Stones (who look like a set of leather muppets at this point) routinely get "Way to keep rockin' into old age!

" plaudits from the media for doing little more than standing on stage and plowing through their back catalog of bar band dreck, here you can watch a silver-haired Nomeansno rock the hell out of their finest song from their finest album.

And while we're on the subject of rocking one's retirement years, Excellent Italian Greyhound is almost here! Look at that fucking cover art!
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Look at that fucking track list!

They've been opening sets with "The End of Radio" (Can you hear me now?

Is this thing on?) for two years now, and "Spoke" has been a live staple since Clinton's first term (introduced with a long, meandering story which ends with someone telling Todd Trainer to play the drums!).

What has two thumbs and is excited?
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This guyyyyyyyyy.

If you watch as much Food Network as I do (and let's face it – you don't) you'll enjoy this No Politics Friday ™ special by world-class smug bastard Anthony Bourdain.

"Throwdown" really is the most embarassing thing done to a celebrity since white promoters made Jackie Owens run races against horses in the 1930s.

Poor Bobby Flay and his floppy man-boobs.
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I was going to write an awful lot about Tim "I hate gay people" Hardaway but I couldn't muster up the energy on this No Politics Friday ™. So instead I decided to do the next best thing: post a video of a high school drumline playing "Jerry Was a Racecar Driver."

You're welcome.

We all know Ed loves the eBay. Today's No Politics Friday entry shows us why.

Seriously. What the fuck? Start with a 1997 Chrysler Voyager minivan (making this a Housewife Friendly conversion project), grab a hacksaw, locate some blue velour, and end up with this (be sure to click the link for interior photos as well):

Get low

As if the pictures aren't ridiculous enough, the description puts it over the top.

runs decent, shifts fine, puffs some smoke at start up, rides like a buckboard. switch on dash to raise and lower rear suspension….No windshield, no wipers, no rear seats, no cupholders, no warranty and no, I wouldn't recommend driving it home

Congratulations Mr. Seller. I have never before seen a car listing that stated "no windshield." That's really quite special. Now please explain how you developed enough gall (or sheer ignorance) to not only start the bidding at $1,000 but also to have a higher reserve price. I'm thinking you might want to start this one at a buck and take whatever you can get.

So there's apparently a new show on Discovery called "Man vs. Wild." There are so many things wrong with it that I hardly know where to begin.

The show is hosted by some testosterone experiment gone wrong named "Bear Grylls." First of all, that is the worst fake name this side of Vin Diesel. Second of all, he is pretty much a complete ass pirate. I can only hope that some tragic accident will befall him and preclude this show from returning for a second season.

The premise of the show is that Mr.

Grylls indulges a lot of puerile, 13 year old GI Joe fantasies by using MacGyver/Boy Scout-esque "survival" techniques to "conquer" and otherwise quasi-sexually dominate nature. You know, crap like starting fires by rubbing sticks together, trapping wild animals, making elaborate contraptions out of twigs, and of course eating raw insects. It is essentially the most asinine thing ever.

Not only is it not very entertaining, but he does the world a disservice by perpetuating the myth that one "prepares" for outdoor adventures by learning arcane tricks that are almost certain to result in your death in an emergency situation. Now I am in no way a master outdoorsman, but I have learned quite a bit in my occasional forays into undeveloped North America. Therefore, in an effort to combat the harm Mr. Grylls' idiocy has done to public awareness, I have prepared a short quiz:

1. How do you start a fire when stranded outdoors?

A: Using the cheap, disposable lighter you were smart enough to bring.

B: Rubbing twigs together for 3 hours

2. On a mountain-climbing trip, you and your group become stranded in a harsh winter storm.
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How do you signal for help?

A: Call the state police on your cell/Sat phone.

B: Make smoke signals that no one will ever see

3. What is the rule for identifying edible (i.e. non-poisonous) leaves and tree fruits?

A: What the fuck are eating leaves for? Eat the food you were smart enough to bring with you.
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What kind of idiot goes hiking without food?

B: Leaves of three, let it be!

4. If you are lost in a deserted area, how do you find your way back out?

A: Using the GPS unit you wisely invested 0 in before heading out into Middle of Nowhere, Alaska.

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Or, failing that, a 99-cent compass and a map. Dumbass.

B: Identifying the constellations and finding the Osiris star cluster.

I hope this has been informative.