KRISTOL STICKS A FORK IN IT

Well, add Mr. Sunnis-and-Shias-Love-One-Another to the list of rats fleeing a sinking ship (today's NYT column: "Fire the Campaign"). Note the irony in Kristol criticizing McCain's campaign for its panicked, frantic behavior in a column that reads like the author is running about like a chicken minus its head.

Some day a friendly reader is going to register "www.billkristol.net" as a gift to me (my birthday's coming up!) and I will use it to chart a timeline of every Kristol column and major TV appearance since 2000, based on which I will determine what percentage of the time this man is actually right about anything. And as a bonus, we will see how many times he contradicts himself in print in any six-month period Friedman Unit.

EXHIBIT A

It's great that the day I post about fake Rove-generated "comeback" stories and efforts to create realities that don't exist, Mr. Rove himself runs a WSJ editorial entitled "Voters Haven't Decided Yet."

Aside from being a textbook example of fantastically wishful thinking, it's patently untrue. It is an empirical fact that the vast majority of voters of any political persuasion have long since decided.
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Nice try, though, d-bag.

DEBATE ANALYSIS

All I have to say about this unremarkable debate (guaranteed to be completely forgotten within 72 hours) is that John McCain looks absolutely whipped. His slams on Obama seem feeble and half-hearted, and nearly all of them are one-upped by Obama's quicker, more clever responses.

McCain's campaign has lapsed into desperation and consequently he is just going through the motions tonight.
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He knows that debate answers won't help him – only parading Obama around as a scary, black, terrorist, secret Muslim can save him, and even that isn't helping now.

The guy honestly looks like he is falling asleep; perhaps he is as tired as his talking points.
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It's really sad to see a man who used to be respected lapsing into the same kind of pathetic ass-kissing ("American workers are the greatest in the world!
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Woooooooooo!") we got from his functionally retarded running mate on Thursday.

SEAN HANNITY'S SOURCES

Read up on Andy Martin, author of the "Obama is a Muslim" email, whom Hannity invited on his show to smear the living shit out of Obama. We should take seriously the words of a man whose election committee in a 1986 run for Congress included the phrase "to exterminate Jew power" according to the FEC and further stated:

I am able to understand how the Holocaust took place, and with every passing day feel less and less sorry that it did, when Jew survivors are operating as a wolf pack to steal my property.

Stay classy, Sean.

REDEFINING "MASTURBATORY"

"Masturbatory" is an adjective often used to describe inappropriately enthusiastic or excessive praise, i.e. a masturbatory movie review. Here I must use it differently and more literally in that I think the person who wrote this was actually masturbating.
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Rich Lowry from the National Review on Sarah Palin's debate performance:

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It's one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O'Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy.

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I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.

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Thanks, Rich, for letting America know just how furiously you were pounding the pud on Thursday evening at 9:30 PM Eastern Time.

I can never wrap my head around the idea of people getting paid to write dreck like this.

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STOW YOUR TINFOIL HATS

Anyone who participates in the "(insert name here) wore an earpiece at the debate!" theorizing is disregarding a number of very basic laws about how the human brain works.

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Since there were no gaps in Palin's speech – it flowed without breaks from one (talking point) to the next – she would have to be paying attention to someone speaking to her while simultaneously saying something entirely different.
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Unless Sarah Palin is some sort of polymath with advanced neuro-psychological abilities to allow each brain hemisphere to operate autonomously, there would be absolutely no good reason to wire her. Do you think Sarah Palin is some sort of polymath?

Yes, handlers could speak to her while Biden was responding, but why? There are no limits to the amount of written materials they are allowed to use, hence the pages and pages of scripts that Palin read from during the debate.

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If she actually needed a handler over an earpiece to tell her which script to read from….well, christ, even I don't buy her being that dumb. Especially since none of the scripts had anything to do with the questions anyway. The risk of getting caught using an earpiece to say "Sarah! Say 'maverick' again!" does not seem worth it when she could simply walk on stage with notecards reading "Sarah! Say 'maverick' again!"

DEBATE GRADES

Palin nets a C-. She didn't do anything well, nor did she actually answer any of the questions (going so far as to helpfully point out that she wouldn't be answering the questions "the way you or the moderator would like"). Her pitiful, awkward stabs at populism were transparently ridiculous and scripted.
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But she avoided a single gaffe of legendary, sound-bite-worthy proportions.
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It was just a shitty performance overall, not a performance marred by one significant disaster.

Biden gets an A. I'd like to give him a much lower grade so that it would make me feel more "fair" but if you watched that debate and don't think that he blew her out of the water with his attention to detail, specificity, and command of the facts countered by her inane bumper sticker slogan responses, then I don't know what to tell you. Ignoring Palin, Biden on his own was really as good as he can be (whatever you think of that). He was not smarmy, he answered the questions, and he hammered Palin without being a dick.
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I mean, he just drove her into the ground but did not come off like a bully in doing it. That's difficult. I would have blown it. He didn't.

The GOP is relieved in one sense because she wasn't as bad as in the Couric interview. But I think it's going to be damn well impossible to pretend that the debate was anything other than a brutal ass-beating. If you like hearing random slogans thrown at the camera, there was a candidate for you. There was also another who sounded like a serious statesman.
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If you watched that debate and thought Palin looked like the person best suited to lead the nation, I'd love to hear on what basis you make that judgment.

(PS – How awesome was the CNN camera in the GOP "Debate watching room"? It looked like a fucking morgue. Those people looked like they were at their own children's funeral.)

HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT

Somehow this is 1000000 times worse than I expected.

Ho. Ly. Shit.

If you can watch this and still vote for her, you are beyond hope. There is something wrong with you.

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I'm not that old, but in 29 years of obsessing over the political process this is the single most pathetic 90 seconds of video I have ever seen. Bar none.