Occupation: eBay Pirate
Contributions: Writer, editor, proofreader, Thomas Cooley Law Graduate Attorney
Main Areas: Music, alcohol-related content, legal hoo-hah, miscellaneous ranting
Super Powers: The Loop to O'Hare in 40 minutes. During rush hour, bitch.
Favorite Gin: Hendricks
Favorite Taco: El Famous Burrito steak taco
Prized Posession: vintage Fender Blender, Harmonic Percolator
If we were the 1985 Chicago Bears, he'd be: Mama's boy Otis, one of a kind.
While Intoxicated, He Once: Peed around Erik's head as Erik was vomiting in Mike's toilet.
Franz Kafka tattoos: 1.
"Look, the key to burning your car for insurance money is to leave a lot of copies of La Raza on the floor so the cops can assume Latino gang-bangers did it, and pee in the backseat so it smells like a homeless guy lived in it."
"See, what happened was……"
"Watching the draft on ESPN as opposed to attending it is the equivalent of experiencing a safari on the Discovery Channel"