Name: Ed
Occupation: eBay Pirate
Location: Indiana
Contributions: Writer, editor, proofreader, Thomas Cooley Law Graduate Attorney
Main Areas: Music, alcohol-related content, legal hoo-hah, miscellaneous ranting
Super Powers: The Loop to O'Hare in 40 minutes. During rush hour, bitch.
Favorite Gin: Hendricks
Favorite Taco: El Famous Burrito steak taco
Prized Posession: vintage Fender Blender, Harmonic Percolator
If we were the 1985 Chicago Bears, he'd be: Mama's boy Otis, one of a kind.
While Intoxicated, He Once: Peed around Erik's head as Erik was vomiting in Mike's toilet.
Franz Kafka tattoos: 1.
"Look, the key to burning your car for insurance money is to leave a lot of copies of La Raza on the floor so the cops can assume Latino gang-bangers did it, and pee in the backseat so it smells like a homeless guy lived in it."
"See, what happened was……"
"Watching the draft on ESPN as opposed to attending it is the equivalent of experiencing a safari on the Discovery Channel"

6 thoughts on “Authors”

  • Yes, "real life" as defined by taking pictures of your pussy and posting them online.

    I'm sorry you flunked out of community college and are insecure about how fucking stupid you are. Now go back to making tacos for your superiors.

  • HOLY SHIT this is for Mike…

    mike, were u a counselor at some computer camp a loong time ago? cuz I DEFINATELY was in one of your classes… and I found out about this site a hell of a long time ago when you had our whole class kneel on the ground and pretend to be starving kids who were programming for!

    and dude.. hannah & hogg gin is THE shit. you guys are hillarious. I only hope that I, too, can one day be as cool as you.


  • See the problem is, you are that guy who never gets any attention from the beautiful single women in this town. As a single woman, native of champaign, student at the u of i, and bartender downtown, i would honestly have to say that most of your interpretations were very very wrong. youre also a bit on the pessimistic side. get over yourselves, these are places to drink beer. maybe you and your unattractiveness should just buy a case and sit at home on your couch, what kind of bad review are you going to give that?

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