News items and links of interest
I finally got a job and I'm moving.
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To Athens, Georgia. Take from those pieces of information what you will.
Ed as a Southerner; there is a God, and he has a sense of humor.
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I have just passed through Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport for the first time.
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Regrettably, I was forced to eat my faithful sherpa, who died from exposure, in the course of the 8-day journey from Terminal A to the baggage claim. That I had to sleep inside a Tauntaun carcass seems almost pleasant in comparison to the fate which befell that poor sherpa.
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Now, I'm not saying Bartolo Colon looks like the Hamburglar, but Bartolo Colon looks suspiciously like the Hamburglar.
His durability, powerful right arm, girth, and impressive disregard for physical conditioning recall the glory of current and former corpulent baseball stars like Rich "El Guapo" Garces (the last man to actually be driven to the mound on that hemlet-shaped engineering marvel known as the bullpen car), Mike "Spanky" LaValliere, Bobby Jenks, Kevin Mitchell (who once ended up on the Disabled List after injuring himself eating a fucking donut), Cecil Fielder (whose vegetarian son Prince, already 280 pounds at age 24, figures to look like an elderly Orson Welles by his mid-30s), and the legendarily sloppy Mickey Lolich.
It's a beautiful sport when guys who look like a south Philly telephone repairman can end up in the Hall of Fame – I'm looking at you, Gwynn and Puckett – or win MVP awards like Fielder, Mitchell, and Colon (Cy Young). Watching Tony Gwynn steal 56 bases in 1987 gives our fat asses hope as fans and viewers.
And for the record, the famously girthsome Babe Ruth was actually svelte for most of his career. It was not until his final years – when he started sneaking into the bullpen between innings to eat hot dogs – that he went all Cookie Jarvis on us.
His career was essentially over by that point anyway.
Dear GOP,
Here is a Hispanic woman. You hate everything she stands for, yet she represents the demographic you're so desperate to woo.
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I dare you to vote against her.
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Also, fuck you.
Love,
BO
Ever notice how all of the complete bullshit the Bush administration pushed about Iraq – they were a tremendous threat to world peace, they ignored agreements and UN resolutions, they were clandestinely developing a nuclear program, they brutally enslaved their own people – are actually true about North Korea?
Good thing they ignored that situation while pissing away our military resources in Iraq.
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Didn't someone say "Wrong war, wrong place, wrong time"? Nah.
Terminator: Salvation has made it official; I need subtitles to understand Christian Bale. Either that or he needs to stop talking like he can't shit but is trying mightily to do so.
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Best plagiarism story ever: guy copies paper directly off of a website (a simple cut-and-paste job) and subsequently submits a paper with html tags in the text. So at the end of paragraphs the reader would find phrases like [imgsrc="nixon_main.jpg" align="center"].
And yes, he actually had the nuts to argue with me about my shocking, tenuous conclusion that he had plagiarized.
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Aging is being faced with two temptations and invariably choosing the one that gets you home earlier.
Real post later today.
Well, my suspicion that Chrysler was in far worse shape than GM appears to have been correct. They're the first one to crawl into bankruptcy court.
Dear readers, I have nearly exhausted my bandwidth for April – my first 50,000 hit month ever. It resets monthly, so on the off chance that the site becomes unavailable sometime on Thursday, April 30 be sure to check back on Friday rather than forgetting I exist and never returning.
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Six years ago when we were lucky to pull 20 unique IPs per day – and that was a good day – I would never have imagined averaging 1500.
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Thank you.
