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We here at the Ginandtacos Corporation try our hardest to take the high road. We pride ourselves with the degree to which our gentlemanly persona is an example for future generations of gin drinkers and taco consumers. However, unfortunately, there comes a time when something so mind bogglingly idiotic occurs that while in a hopelessly confused stupor we must share it and pray that in doing so we will find some catharsis.

On August the 11th some anonymous, and clearly well educated individual commented these honest criticism of the ginandtacos.com Champaign Bar Reviews, specifically referencing our reviews of Kam's and C. O. Daniel's:

It's complete bullshit for you to rate bars that you have either never been to or only visited a few times. You make ridiculous judgments about the "type" of people who frequent certain bars. I, as well as all my friends, went to Kams, CO's and Gully's.
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As far as paying $5 to get in- not if you knew someone…

You bet you can drink "one more than us." That, as well, is probably bullshit. Unless you stand at the bar of CO's and do Jagerbombs all night long, I doubt this is true. Drinking $1.50 pints of High Life for three hours is not the true definition of getting fucked up.
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Coincidentally, the only campus bars that don't make you want to shoot yourself are the ones that make me want to shoot myself.

Possibly the only true thing you have said in your entire posting of useless drivel is that you would get your ass kicked at Kams.

Peace, bitch.

Posted by at August 11, 2004 11:07 AM

Ginandtacos.com would like to present as a counter argument: You sir are a little bitch of epic and historically significant proportions- a bitch on such a level that your friends neighbors and coworkers will be in constant awe of your unadulterated bitchiness.

We would also like to propose that you look something like this:

That being said, you might ask yourself why it is that ginandtacos.com believes you so be so utterly without worth? Let me address this on a point-by-point basis.

• You seem to feel as though I am not able to make an accurate assessment of Kams of CO Daniels because I don’t frequent these establishments. It does not take a long arduous study to conclude that these bars smell of puke (probably yours) and urine. It does not take going to a bar every night to realize that their floor is so covered in shit that you have to throw out your pants and shoes when you get home. At this point, it does not take great leaps of faith or intense mental fortitude to assume that the regular patron of such an establishment has neither intelligence nor self respect- or really is even aware of the existence of either of these things.

  In case there is any doubt, take a look at these photos courtesy of IlliniParty.com :
  

  
  Try and play the fun and exciting how many of these men are of age versus how many of the women game.

• The only reason I ever mention that I drink more than you…is well… because I can. At this point in my life it is not something that I take great pride in, but well, it is true.
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  The fact that you use as a counter example your seeming epic consumption of Jagerbombs can only serve to confuse the issue. You are no doubt either underage or confused. Jagermeister is not hard liquor. It is about on the level of peach schnapps.
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  If you had paid more attention in your introduction to numeracy class you would be able to figure out that 16 ounces of beer has about twice as much alcohol as a shot of Jager. Of course that never occurred to you did it? No doubt all the Red Bull you consumed had sped up your metabolism to disturbing levels clouding your judgment. I will forgive you this point, as an inexperienced drinker you probably mistook this feeling for drunkenness. However, if you ever get serious, try drinking beer and whiskey; it’s better for you.

As a final note.
1. Knowing someone who can get you into a shitty bar for free is not cool.
2. Neither is implying that you would kick peoples asses because they are different from you.
3. You are a little bitch.

If you haven't gotten a chance to play OkCupid's Virgin Game follow that link and do so immediately. You no longer need to be a member of the site itself.

OkCupid is a free internet dating/networking site that is actually free, and the guys who created it are pretty entertaining.

It's worth checking out just to take their personality quiz (you don't need to register to take this one either). I was "The Boy Next Door."

Anyway, when you sign up for the site you specify whether or not you are a virgin. After collecting that data for about 5 months, they unleash this game – randomly drawn sets of two images from their database, one person a virgin the other not one. You have to guess who is which. At the end they give you your score.

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I imagine many people had wished they did a better job reading the "terms and agreements." I couldn't beat 60% on it – tell me if you can.
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The guys who do the page are Harvard math nerds; they have data-mined the hell out of their stuff to statistically find out weird virgin facts which are available as advice on the game: "Of two men the exact same age, the one with more facial hair is more likely to be a virgin." The only real problem is that it doesn't tell you if you were right or wrong for each specific person, they just give you your overall score (I guess the terms and agreements weren't that flexible).

Wow. Leave it to the Republicans to keep things interesting in Illinois. Guess what! They have narrowed their choices for their candidate for Senator to two people – both of whom are black! Sorry, but isn't this a little shameless? Since there are no consolation prizes for the 2nd place candidate, why list two people instead of waiting a few more days until you have an actual choice? But anyway, that's not the fun part. The fun part is that likely contender is:

Alan Keyes!

Remember Mr. Keyes during the 2000 primaries? When all the Republicans were trying to be the most compassionate conservatives they could be, Alan Keyes was throwing down bolts of thunder from the top of Mt.

I'm-Out-Of-My-Religious-Conservative-Fucking-Mind. Here are some quotes from the man, off his own webpage (no spin needed):

Take comfort America: If you get mugged remember it is the fault of Bill Clinton and post-structuralist moral relativism (are we really expected to believe that the guy who carjacks you is very well-versed in Foucault and Derrida?). You don't get many people calling the idea of free public education something that is rotten at the core of democracy. And I've heard many arguments for the 2nd amendment – the idea that we may be called upon as citizens to defend our borders does not come up very often.

This will be an interesting election if he is chosen.
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Has the man ever even lived in Illinois? I wonder if he can name 5 Illinois counties off the top of his head.

The scary part of this all is what it says about the direction of this country. 4 years ago he was an utter joke. He trolled around the debates like a mirror image of Dennis Kucinich – except on the religious nutjob side of the mirror things are a lot scarier. Does our country actually take his point-of-view seriously now?

Big week for movie stuff here. We now have an open letter to Frederick Wiseman, asking the man to cashout already. And, due to popular demand, a review of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

This is a movie where two men in the early-to-mid 20s get very stoned and try to get White Castle. A lot of humorous things happen on their way that try and stop them, but through determination and luck, they get their wish.

Ok, full disclosure here: I was prepared to enjoy this movie from the first moment I heard this description. This site is, among other things, about the love for the consumption of gin and tacos, and we don't consider them mutually exclusive.
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Many a night of heavy drinking has been complimented with a epic journey to Flash Taco / Underdogs, Prime Time Pizza, or a Polish sausage stand in Maywood with slightly more protective glass than an embassy in sub-Sahara Africa.
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And I don't use the word epic lightly either. People will sing songs and tell tales of these drunken searches for food. There's the time that Ed and I (not drunk) filled a rental car with so many Crave Cases of White Castle sliders on a road trip that the smell left over the next day almost violated the renter's agreement.
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There was also the time that Erik and I (very drunk) quested to a Perkins just outside of UofW; that trip required Erik to match wits with a extremely drunk visiting German professor over Ludwig Wittgenstein while I had to convince a female body-builder and her swarthy immigrant companion with too much chest hair exposed not to leave us for dead in a Madison ghetto.

So this movie was after my heart from the start. I'm very happy, and even more surprised, to say that it didn't disappoint.
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Mind you, this is slacker stoner comedy with it's cultural awareness level turned up to 11. Many people compare it to Super Troopers, which I have not seen; the more obvious reference point is "Dude Where's My Car?"

Unlike DWMC, which thumbed it's nose to the idea of having a coherent series of solvable subplots of character development for the leads, the main characters of this movie are the staple "uptight-repressed guy" and "lazy relaxed genius guy." If you've seen any movie from the past 25 years aimed at 13-21 year old men, then you have an idea of how it will progress.

What makes this movie more entertaining is how likable and strong the leads are. That the half of the jokes that work more than balance out the half of the jokes that fall-flat on their face also helps. There is a cameo by Neil Patrick Harris which makes me laugh just thinking about it. There is a scene involving an insane redneck and his attractive wife which is so dumb that it is only saved by how funny the two main characters play it off (that and a gratuitous boob shot of course). The entire movie is worth watching just to see the two main stoners view a "pot kills" drug ad on TV while high, an ad so dumb it has to be taken from real life.

According to the logical system of Principia Mathematica, it is an axiomatic truth that the girl on the right must A: keep on her shirt OR ~A (not A): take off her shirt. I think Mr. Russell would be happy with the results.

You probably know if you want to see this movie or not. You certainly know whether you don't want to see this movie; you come to the movie with an idea of how much you'll let a boob shot serve as a narrative device. If you are in any way on the fence, trust us and run out and see it immediately.

Happy Birthday to me. Just so you kids know, at a Binny's Beverage Depot Sir Robert Burnett Gin sells for $12.95 for 1.75L.

Read that again. 1.75L. Most gins at 1.75L top the mark – Sir Robert Burnett stays under the mark.

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And it has a plastic bottle, so when the other creators of ginandtacos.
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com and I polish it for my b-day tonight and drop it on the floor, it will just bounce.

I'm not familiar with British customs, but if it is possible to knight a man twice it needs to be done to Sir Robert Burnett.

Last weekend, I went and flyered for a Get out the Vote in Swing States group with strong anti-Bush leanings in the amazing Millenium Park during it's opening weekend celebration. During that time, I learned how much I absolutely hate flyering.

I suppose I deserve bad luck, as I always turn away from people who are passing out flyers. Even if someone was to come up to me with a flyer for the "Gin-drinking-Buffy-fan-comic-books-and-tacos-club" I'd still not make eye contact and speed up my walking. I learned I'm not alone in this speeding up process.

It got to the point where I was really thinking that this election is going to be old overweight white men with bad mustaches versus everyone else. One particularly large man in ill-fitted shorts was holding six hotdogs, and gave me this look when I asked him if he wanted to help beat Bush in November that said "I'm an overweight middle aged white-man who is about to sit down and eat six hot dogs – I'm clearly ok with the direction this country is taking."

Every person over the age of 22 was avoiding us except one group: gay people. We eventually stopped counting the number of times two men holding hands came up to us and gave us encouraging words and listened to what we had to say. For those visiting our page from across the universe, Chicago has a very active gay community on the North Side called Boystown – it is relatively close to the Park (it shares a train line anyway) and thus a lot of gay couples were out for the day. And they all hate Bush. All of them. A lot. And who can blame them?

When this whole gay marriage thing came up from the administration, I thought Bush is just circling his wagons and energizing his base. He's not going to be losing votes. And then I learned I was wrong. According to a Jan 2001 post-election analysis by the Log Cabin Republicans: "Bush captured 25% of the gay vote [1.1 million votes] nationwide, a record number for a GOP presidential candidate." Can you believe 1 million gay people voted for Bush?!?! Remember back in those days? Bush didn't say a word about marriage or gay people – he was a "compassionate conservative" chock full of inclusion and bringing people together; Dick Cheney even had a gay daughter who campaigned for him! How progressive!

Mary Cheney, the only gay supporter of George Bush in 2004.
And they only had to pay her 0,000 to do it.
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I'm not going to even bother to describe how Bush ditched those million voters. I think what's worse for him is that by not just slighting them, but instead refering to their existence as undermining the entirety of Western Civilization (an insult you can't help but imagine you wouldn't forget), he's gotten them energized to support Kerry, a candidate that one needs to be blamed for the decline of Western Civilization in order to get excited about.

And what did Bush gain? Did he rally his own base? This is the big question, and I honestly don't think he is earning any votes. People who are so opposed to gay people that they blame them as disrupting all of life and want to pass an Constitutional Amendment with the speed and lack of debate as if it was a Highway Bill Amendment almost certainly were going to vote for Bush on election day anyway. I can't imagine someone who is so infuriated by gay people that they would let gay marriage decide their vote in an election in 2004 (with real problems like dirty bombs and occupations and half a trillion dollar deficits) not supporting Bush no matter what.

Kerry et. al get a lot of flak for not really standing strong on the gay marriage issue, but I think that it reflect a lot of popular thinking among adults – "I'm sorta ok with it – I'm not 'not ok' with it." I think a lot of people are generally uncomfortable with it, but don't want to immediately sic the federal government on any minority group. I don't pretend to know what the gay community was thinking about four more years of Bush pre-gay-marriage debate – I imagine they were split like the rest of the country. Well, we can almost be certain, with the notable exception of Mary Cheney in all her self-loathing 2004 campaigning glory, nobody there likes him now – and that's a million votes Bush had that he has now lost.

Perhaps Bush is acting on principle on this and not on electioneering: That's the thought that actually scares me more. But I just don't see it. If he was really serious about a defense of marriage he would be attacking the 50% of boomers who get divorces. As far as I know, there hasn't been a single word.

When Arnold followed Jesse Ventura in gaining a governorship, the rest of us were left only to wonder how long it would be until Carl Weathers decided to run. For those of us that don't live in California I don't think there is any possible way for us to figure out why exactly this happened. Complicated things like "car taxes" were in play.

To the casual observer, it seemed the Mr.

Schwarzenegger was elected based on several principles.
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• The people of California were paying too much money to drive their cars.
• Arnold's campaign was largely based around quoting lines he had once said in various movies.
• Californians found that his accent, and virtual inability to speak English inspired trust.
• The desire to not have to see previews for another Arnold Schwarzenegger movie for at least 4 years.

The only thing that I had really heard about his role as governor was that he did in fact give all residents of California a rebate on their car tax. The George W. Bush school of economic theory seemed firmly in place. Combat the fact that you are dealing with massive deficit spending and debt by telling your constituents that if you are elected you will cut them a check. Threaten that if anyone else is elected they will take your money away.

Today I saw something even more amusing. Arnold insinuated today that the democrats in the state were, in fact, "girlie-men". So apparently I am too believe that if I am a resident of California, what I really want to inspire confidence that the economic nightmare I am currently living in will soon be over is a leader quoting Saturday Night Live luminaries "Hanz and Franz."

Don't worry, all the state really needs is for democrats to get "pumped up".

Not to let their own personal brand of stupidity be relegated to second place, democrats promptly demanded an apology. No, they were not offended that Arnold had not noticed the time they had spent in the gym recently. They proclaimed that use of the term "girlie-man" is sexist and homophobic. Well yeah, I guess it is. If you were to assume that the use of the term connoted that legislators were either acting like women, or were effeminate men instead of invoking an image of Dana Carvey in a padded sweat suit.

So here is the question I pose, who is the real idiot here? Is it Schwarzenegger for continuing to pander to the lowest common denominator?

Or are the state legislators the true political morons for taking his idiotic remarks so damned seriously?

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After the 2000 election, a hoax set of "facts" spread around the internet showing that states with a higher "average IQ" voted for Gore while states in which the comics are the most-read part of the newspaper voted for Bush. Of course, average IQ scores are not tested or recorded in this country.
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However, I decided to have a look-see at the 2000 US Census and its measures of educational attainment. Specifically, they record the percentage of the adult population that has earned a high school diploma, bachelor's degree, and so on.
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And, while the "IQ data" was made up, it was also uncannily accurate. Let's look at the real data from Table 13 of US Census document P20-536, published December 19, 2000 along with for whom the state voted in the 2000 election.

Our president managed only four states among the 15 most educated, but in case you were doubting his resolve, fear not. As we can see, he makes up for it with a strong finish in the 15 least educated states.

Feel free to reproduce the above image on your page, blog, or just as an email attachment to all your friends and family.

And there you have it. Call me un-American, but it is a clear commentary on our leader's rhetorical methods, platform, and intelligence when the states in which fancy book learnin' is frowned upon and one's eulogy is likely to contain the phrase "Git'er done!" are voting for him in unflinching unison. And it also shows you what a bang-up job years of fantastic conservative policy have done for the bottom states' educational systems.

1) Anchorman review on the movie page.

2) For those of you who read the excellent New York Times magazine article on current comic books, I have written up my thoughts on it. They'll eventually also work their way over to the comics page once a get a free moment.

3) I know we need to comment on the possibility of Dikta running for the Senate, but writing about it has that same feeling of a middle-aged virgin hiring a prostitute or a hungry man eating raw garbage – we don't want to admit that "it's come to this.

" If this keeps going on we'll comment though.

Don't worry.